Grown-ups at play: Theorizing quintessential interpersonal experiences of connection, novelty, and mirth

ABSTRACT

Adult communicative play is a pervasive interpersonal phenomenon that manifests in myriad forms and serves a variety of intra- and interpersonal functions. Here, a conceptual definition of adult communicative play is presented, and a theory specifying the conditions and processes that give rise to such occasions is developed. Central to this effort is the conception of “quintessential play” as “ideal code-based (verbal and nonverbal) instances of interpersonal engagement, understanding, and coordination, marked by a sense of novelty and enjoyment, that are understood to count as ‘play’ by the participants themselves.” Experiences of truly quintessential play may be infrequent, but they represent the endpoint of a continuum along which all occasions of play can be seen to fall. The theoretical framework advanced here, then, addresses the role of person factors (e.g., personality traits), relationship factors (e.g., affection, power), dyadic factors (e.g., similarity), contextual factors (e.g., social rules and norms), and properties of interactions themselves, in fostering occasions of quintessential play, and that, by extension, sheds light on instances of failed play (e.g., mean-spirited teasing, bullying).

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Notes

¹ Recognizing, of course, that play may serve various identity, relational, and task functions as well.

² It is noteworthy that, even though Miller’s (1973) essay predated the development of AAT by a decade (Greene, 1984), and that he was not working from the perspective, assumptions, and terminology of cognitive science, Miller’s notion that play involves “fitting pieces of activity together” (p. 92) or “combin[ing] pieces of behavior” (p. 96) is very much in keeping with the AAT conception of assembly processes.

³ Beyond the points of convergent theorizing outlined here, there is a second recurrent theme in the play literature that is directly relevant to the TTI conception of “exploration, discovery, and insight” that merits note. The idea in TTI that interactions can afford the opportunity for novel understandings and behavioral enactments has close parallels with treatments of play in Communication (e.g., Baxter, 1992; Glenn & Knapp, 1987) and other disciplines (e.g., Betcher, 1987; Casado-Kehoe et al., 2007; Eberle, 2014; Henricks, 2010; Miller, 1973) that address the role of play in fostering learning and skill development.

⁴ As noted at the outset, our primary focus here is upon face-to-face interactions, but clearly, people play via mediated channels. And, we are reminded that even on-line, asynchronous, interactions can be exhilarating (see, for example: Henderson & Gilding, 2004). We would hold that much of what follows in our treatment of “contextual” and “processual” factors applies across the spectrum of mediated exchanges.

⁵ Other candidate “relatively enduring person factors” would include constructs such as self-concept and self-esteem.

⁶ In this context, see Miczo’s (e.g., 2004) conception of “humor ability” and his treatment of “humor production as skilled behavior.”

⁷ A caveat is in order here in light of the fact that relationship involvement need not be accompanied by conditions of affection and trust (see, for example, Gottman and Silver’s (1994) characterization of “hostile engaged” couples). In the absence of positive affect, occasions of play that more nearly approximate quintessence are unlikely.

⁸ Our thinking regarding the potentially implicit understanding of what counts as play is informed by Hopper’s (1981) treatment of nature and role of the “taken-for-granted” in communication. And, in keeping with Hopper’s analysis, when a problem in coordinating the taken-for-granted emerges, participants may find it necessary to establish that they are “just playing.”

⁹ The inflection point of the curvilinear function suggested here should be expected to vary with individual preferences and dispositions, mood states, task contexts and other situational factors, and so on.