An Elegy for Motherless Daughters: Dissociation, Multiplicity, and Mourning

Abstract

Interweaving autobiographical narrative with clinical material, this essay examines the generative impact of an enactment initiated by an analyst who shares a history of early maternal loss with a group she led for motherless daughters. It invites readers to conceive of mourning from an intersubjective and multiple self-state perspective, where the boundaries of our inner object world meet the loss of an actual other, in a shared “third” space. Dissociative process will be examined as both a protector and inhibitor of mourning, both then and there and here and now, as it unfolds in the group process.

Keywords:

• mourning
• dissociation
• self-states
• group
• enactment
• meta-dialogue

Acknowledgments

With much appreciation to Lissa Schaupp, Rachel Sopher, Steven Kuchuck, Patricia Clough, Sandra Silverman, and Kathleen Miller for their thoughtful editorial comments to the paper as it evolved and to the group members, for the experience and their permission to share it.

Notes

¹ There are more than two self-states, but for ease of interpretation this paper traces the relational development of meta-dialogue as it was established between the functional mother mode and the abandoned daughter mode. I am not saying these states are the “same” in everyone, but using these titles metaphorically to represent the fractured inner relationship between self-states devoted to self-management and those to preserving vulnerability. The meta-dialogic process includes ultimately all self-states, who instead of just behaving their experience, talk through and to one another as they live it. Often a new byproduct is formed as the functional mother learns and addresses the actual needs of the abandoned daughter internally, as opposed to acting omnipotent and relying on avoidance.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Johanna Dobrich

Johanna Dobrich, LCSW, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and Psychoanalyst with a private practice in New York City specializing in the treatment of dissociative disorders, trauma and loss. She is affiliated with the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy (ICP), the Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Study Center (PPSC), and the National Institute for the Psychotherapies (NIP) as an instructor/supervisor.