Self-Defeating Aggression and the Need for Rough-and-Tumble Play in Adult Analysis

Abstract

The belligerent patient poses a challenge to psychoanalysts. In working with an aggressive young man, I describe how I use rough-and-tumble play to meet his verbal assaults, downregulate his emotions, and create space for mentalization. Directing and redirecting his hostility led to new relational possibilities and his enhanced capacity for self-reflection. I discuss the implications for the use of rough-and-tumble play with certain patients to develop mutuality, deepen interpretive work, and enhance their reflective functioning.

Keywords:

• Aggression
• play
• relational psychoanalysis
• resistance
• rough-and-tumble play

Acknowledgments

The author would like to thank Drs. Richard Billow, Kirsten Lentz, Lawrence Josephs, and Suzi Naiburg for their help in reviewing several drafts of this manuscript.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Notes

¹ The linguistic theory of pragmatics (Grice, 1989) emphasizes the contextual meaning surrounding the words rather than the words themselves. “Fuck you” has a range of meanings depending on the context in which it is said. In certain relationships at certain moments, this expletive can mean a sexual act, a violent sexual act, a pure insult, a well-deserved retort, or even a playfully ironic way of saying “I love you.” Here, Ezra understood me as saying that “you have gone too far.”

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Andrew M. Eig

Andrew M. Eig, PhD, ABPP is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst in private practice in downtown Manhattan. He is a clinical instructor in the doctoral and postgraduate departments of The Derner Institute for Advanced Psychological Studies at Adelphi University. Dr. Eig is Past President of the American Board of Group Psychology.