“Oh My God, I'm Home”: The Socioreligious Significance of Gay Older Women's Experiences of Women's Bars Before Stonewall

Abstract

This article examines the narratives of 57 older gay women about their experiences in gay women's bars in the United States during the pre-Stonewall era (1945–1969). Cartier's (2010) concept of “theelogy” is used to develop two parallel theories that illustrate the meaning of the bars for these women. Christian rituals are used to outline the socioreligious significance of the bars, while achieving self-acceptance is expressed through language that illustrates interconnectedness (including “to see each other” and “to have each other”). The article closes by addressing the significance of these theories and this approach to spirituality for the field of gerontology.

Keywords:

• lesbian
• bar culture
• gay spirituality
• gay aging
• theelogy

Notes

1. According to the 2011 Gallup poll, 78% of all Americans identify as Christian. Among those who report any religious identity, 95% are Christian (Newport, 2011).

2. Daughters of Bilitis (DOB) is considered the first lesbian rights organization, and was founded in 1955 as an alternative to the gay bars. While historically significant, historical records show that the numbers who attended DOB functions were incredibly small compared to the legions that congregated in gay bars. For more on DOB, please see Kennedy and Davis (1993) and Gallo (2006).

3. “New Age” refers to a shift in the practice of religion in the United States that occurred in the 1970s in which spirituality was decoupled from traditional religion, such that one could “be spiritual” without participating in a particular religion. See also Dass (1971).

4. To say that the bar denizens were “without religion” is false. There is a difference between being cast as an atheist versus a sinner. An atheist, while not popular with faith communities, is not a sinner, and his or her arguments are tolerated and engaged. Not so with those designated as sinners, whose actions are evil and whose reasons for those actions are not to be engaged.

5. The authors are also referring here to the period the interviews covered.

6. See Note on Table 1—Interview Participants by Age Category and Year of First Experience in Gay Women's Bar.

7. In the pre-Stonewall gay women's bar culture, “kiki” is a woman who did not identify as either butch or femme. This designation was usually considered pejorative because butch/femme was the dominant model of lesbian sexuality connections, as well as the necessary identity marker to participate in most gay women's bar friendships and community connections.

8. N. V. also challenged the Los Angeles court system for the right to wear men's clothing, without being charged with the pre-Stonewall crime of “masquerading.” She won her case in 1959 and was able legally to wear men's clothes, a rare exception for women of her time. However, this win came after years of police harassment to N. V. for cross-dressing (see Faderman & Timmons, 2006).

9. Some women hated the bars. They did not see themselves in the community of people there—other than that they were also gay women. They did not want to be associated with an identity that would congregate in such a space. However, all women of the period, whether they liked, loved, were dismissive of or hated the bars, acknowledged the importance of the bars as locations of public space, the only public space available, for their community. Hence the bars significance in terms of identity construction for pre-Stonewall homosexuals cannot be denied—even though the spaces were dangerous and often violent.

10. The first gay church, founded by Reverend Troy Perry in 1968. See Perry and Lucas (1972).

11. Hence the title of Cartier's (forthcoming) book, Baby, You Are My Religion: Women, Gay Bars, and Theology before Stonewall.