The Coming Out Process for Assigned-Female-at-Birth Transgender and Non-Binary Teenagers: Negotiating Multiple Identities, Parental Responses, and Early Transitions in Three Case Studies

Abstract

In this study, I examined three case studies of Assigned-Female-At-Birth (AFAB) teenagers who came out to their families in the course of therapy; all cases are derived from private practice work from 2015 to 2018. These all have in common some of the important and distinct differences between “coming out” as LGB and “coming out” as transgender or nonbinary. Overall, these cases emphasize: (1) Specific needs of transgender teenagers and young adults, particularly with regard to appealing for permission to use hormones; (2) Race and class implications for coming out as transgender and non-binary; (3) The necessity of better general education about transgender lives; and (4) The impact of parents on transitioning experiences and self-identity. The different outcomes of gender identity outness, including different parameters for what parental approval and validation means, are explored. I conclude with clinical implications for doing work with transgender teenagers and their parents, along with advice to practitioners for how to work with a sample of parental responses in order to minimize trauma and harm to transgender and non-binary teens.

Keywords:

• Coming out
• family therapy
• non-binary
• parent child relationships
• transgender
• transitioning

Acknowledgments

Special thanks to Eric Swank, Mika Collins, and the Feminist Research on Gender and Sexuality Group for their contributions to this manuscript.

Notes

1 Note that LGBT may not fully capture the range of affectional and sexual practices, feelings, and identity in the queer community (more accurately represented as LGBTGEQIAP+) and thus the language in this article reflects the limited ways that these terms operate. For a more full examination of the importance of continuing to question language, see ALGBTIC LGBQQIA Competencies Taskforce, 2013.