Are you my guest or my child? Mothers' uncertainties in interacting with their returnee children in China

Abstract

In a rapidly globalizing world that allows freer temporary movement between nations, issues of entry into new national spaces and reentry into previous ones are common adaptation processes for many individuals and families. This study explores the experiences of mothers in China interacting with their returnee children during their short-term reentry after several years of studying abroad. The analysis of data from qualitative interviews shows that mothers experienced uncertainties about how to understand and interact with their “culturally transformed” children and that they tried to manage such uncertainties through discourse. Since reentry experiences are conjointly produced by returnees and their significant others through social interaction, effective uncertainty management through more open and direct communication may be conducive to resolving relational conflicts during reentry. Implications and limitations of the study are discussed.

Keywords:

• mother–child relationship
• China
• communication style
• qualitative interview
• reentry

Notes

^1. Though Sussman's (2000) dynamic cultural identity model makes theoretical sense, there has been no full empirical test of the theory in text.

^2. According to the Open Doors report, published annually by the Institute of International Education (IIE), the population of international students in the United States in the 2006/2007 academic year was 582,984.

^3. There were two major reasons why only mothers were interviewed instead of both parents. First, my personal experience with my mother during my short-term reentry made me more interested in exploring mothers' experiences with their returnee children. The other reason was that the existing literature (see, e.g., Brabant et al., 1990; Gama & Pedersen, 1977) indicated that female returnees tend to experience more distress upon reentry. I was intrigued by whether and how this was related to social interaction during reentry. Assuming that mothers interact more with their children than do fathers, I selected mothers for this study.

^4. All names have been changed to maintain confidentiality.

^5. It should be noted that many parents and children live relatively far away from each other or see each other infrequently in the same national space. It would be interesting to explore the differences/similarities between the experiences of these mothers and those in my study to see whether the intercultural aspect of the mother–child relationships contributes to mothers' struggles. My guess is that mothers may experience heightened levels of uncertainty/anxiety due to this intercultural aspect, which may lead to an enhanced desire for intimacy with their children as a way of reducing or explaining away their uncertainties. However, empirical research is needed to test this hypothesis.

^6. This bears some resemblance to the interaction between mothers and their children who left home and attended White schools in West Apache (Basso, 1970). The Western Apache mothers kept silent after their children returned home from school as a response to uncertainty about their potentially changed identities and viewpoints because of the influence from the White schools.