Love and sex: polyamorous relationships are perceived more favourably than swinging and open relationships

Abstract

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) refers to romantic relationships in which all partners agree to engage in sexual, romantic and/or emotional relationships with others. Within the general framework of CNM, subtypes of relationships differ in the extent to which partners intend for love and emotional involvement to be a part of their multiple relationships (that is, some relationships may prioritise love over sex with multiple partners, or vice versa). The present study examined whether individuals were more likely to stigmatise relationships that: (i) focus on loving more than one person (which is characteristic of polyamory), (ii) focus on having sex without love (which is characteristic of swinging lifestyles), or (iii) involve having sex without love without a partner’s participation (which is characteristic of open relationships). In the present research, participants were assigned to read a definition of one of the three CNM relationship types (i.e. a swinging, polyamorous or open relationship) and to indicate their attitudes towards individuals who participate in those relationships. Results show that swingers were overwhelmingly perceived more negatively (e.g. less responsible) than individuals in polyamorous relationships and that people in open relationships were sometimes perceived more negatively (e.g. less moral) than people in polyamorous relationships. Overall, findings suggest that people are more uncomfortable with the idea of strictly sexual relationships (i.e. swinging relationships) than relationships involving multiple romantic/emotional attachments (i.e. polyamorous relationships).

Keywords:

• consensual non-monogamy
• love
• swinging
• polyamory
• societal attitudes

Notes

1. Notably, we recognise that these categories are not mutually exclusive and that the definitions we provided are clearly contested. However, in order to best address our hypotheses, it was necessary to formulate distinct definitions, even though these definitions may be inaccurate as applied to any given set of partners and their relationship dynamics.

2. This study is part of a larger project with multiple collaborators; therefore, for the purpose of this particular study, we were only interested in analysing three of the five conditions of the original design. The conditions excluded from the current study were monogamous and polygynous relationship types.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Jes L. Matsick

Jes L. Matsick, M.S. is a doctoral candidate in the departments of Psychology and Women’s Studies at the University of Michigan. Her research examines attitudes that minority group members have towards dominant groups, with a specific focus on sexual minorities.

Terri D. Conley

Terri D. Conley, Ph.D., is a faculty member in the departments of Psychology and Women’s Studies at the University of Michigan. Her primary research interests are in the areas of gender and sexuality. She is currently focusing on understanding gender differences in sex behaviour and addressing the limitations of monogamous relationships.

Ali Ziegler

Ali Ziegler, M.S. is a doctoral candidate in the departments of Psychology and Women’s Studies at the University of Michigan. Her research examines socio-cultural explanations for gender differences in sexual desires, fantasies and behaviours. She is currently focusing on research related to gender differences in sexual fantasies.

Amy C. Moors

Amy C. Moors, M.S. is a doctoral candidate in the departments of Psychology and Women’s Studies at the University of Michigan. Her research examines social norms surrounding sexuality and gender. Her current research focuses on reasons why people defend the institution of marriage and presumed gender differences in engagement in CNM.

Jennifer D. Rubin

Jennifer D. Rubin, M.A., is a graduate student in the departments of Psychology and Women’s Studies at the University of Michigan. Her research focuses on social contexts and messages that account for gender differences in sexual desire.