Reshaping relational scripts? Marriage and civil partnership proposals among same-gender couples

ABSTRACT

The traditional marriage initiation script entails male partners ‘proposing’ to female partners. However, little is known about how same-gender couples initiate a marriage or civil partnership. Drawing on qualitative survey data from 82 people in a UK civil partnership or same-gender marriage we identify two marriage initiation themes which foreground the reshaping of script norms for marriage proposals. The first theme, ‘queer proposals’ entails an adaptation of the conventional script. The second theme ‘jointly negotiated initiations’, foregrounds a fundamental departure from heteronormative scripts for initiating the legal formalisation of a relationship. It is argued that the non-normative status of such partnerships not only allow for alternative scripts to socially emerge, but offer a reconceptualization of a cultural script grounded in heteronormative relationship practices. The study therefore makes an important contribution to our understanding of same-gender relationship practices and has significant implications for sexual script theory.

KEYWORDS:

• Civil partnership
• heteronormativity
• same-sex marriage
• marriage proposal
• engagement
• lesbian
• gay
• same-gender relationship
• legal relationship recognition
• sexual script theory

Acknowledgments

The authors would like to thank the participants for taking time to complete the survey and anyone who helped to share the link to the survey, in particular DIVA magazine. Thanks to Sarah Holloway for her helpful comments on an earlier version.

Data Statement

The data that support the findings of this study are available on request from the corresponding author, AJ. The data are not publicly available due to their containing information that could compromise the privacy of research participants.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.

Correction Statement

This article has been republished with minor changes. These changes do not impact the academic content of the article.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Adam Jowett

Adam Jowett is Assistant Professor in Psychology, School of Psychological, Social and Behavioural Sciences, Coventry University, and Chair of the BPS Psychology of Sexualities Section.

Elizabeth Peel

Elizabeth Peel is Professor of Communication and Social Interaction, and Associate Pro Vice Chancellor (Doctoral College), Loughborough University.