“But where are the dates?” Dating as a central site of fat femme marginalisation in queer communities

ABSTRACT

Drawing on interviews with fifteen queer fat femme women and gender nonconforming individuals, I explore queer fat femmes’ negotiations of dating in contemporary queer communities in Canada. Using thematic analysis to analyse the interviews, I identify how queer fat femmes’ experiences of dating in queer communities are often characterised by rejection and fetishisation. These experiences have significant and negative impacts, generating feelings of undesirability, fear, and failure. I connect the marginalisation of queer fat femmes in queer dating contexts to the reproduction and circulation of fatphobia and femmephobia in queer communities. Finally, I suggest that queer fat femmes’ responses to their marginalisation in queer dating contexts reflect resilience, as they find ways to navigate their oppressions and fulfill their needs.

KEYWORDS:

• Queer fat femme
• femme
• femmephobia
• queer
• lesbian
• fat
• critical femininities

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author.

Additional information

Funding

This work was supported by the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada (SSHRC).

Notes on contributors

Allison Taylor

Allison Taylor is a PhD candidate in the department of Gender, Feminist and Women’s Studies at York University. Taylor’s SSHRC-funded, doctoral research explores queer fat femme identities, embodiments, and negotiations of femmephobia, fatphobia, and other intersecting oppressions in Canada. Her work has been published in places such as Fat Studies: An Interdisciplinary Journal of Body Weight and Society, Psychology & Sexuality, and the Journal of Lesbian Studies.