In-law preferences in a post-industrial society: What parents want in an in-law and how this differs from what their children want in a spouse

Abstract

Across human societies parents exercise considerable influence over the mate choices of their children. Consequently, spouses are selected not only on the basis of whether they appeal to mate-seekers' preferences, but also on whether they appeal to parents' preferences. Our knowledge of in-law preferences is rather thin, however, particularly when it comes to post-industrial societies. Focusing on a Western society (Cyprus), and with the use of an open-ended instrument, this study attempts to identify the qualities that parents desire in a prospective son-in-law and daughter-in-law. It aims further to explore how parents' preferences differ from the respective preference of their children. Evidence from a sample of 211 families (321 parents and 246 children) revealed a hierarchy of 23 traits at the top of which lie personality-related traits. It was also found that in-law preferences are contingent upon the sex of the in-law, but they are independent of the sex of the parent. Finally, comparisons between parents and their children revealed disagreement between the two over a number of traits such as beauty and honesty.

Keywords:

• in-law preferences
• parental choice
• parent-offspring conflict over mating
• mate preferences
• sexual selection

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank Eleni Demetriou for her help during the preparation of this manuscript. I would also like to thank one anonymous reviewer for constructive comments that enabled me to improve an earlier version of this manuscript.

Notes

1. This is not to say that parents are indifferent to the wealth of their daughters-in-law, particularly in societies where dowry is given. As dowry is no longer practiced in post-industrial societies, however, parents' emphasis on a daughter-in-law's wealth is much weaker.