Dancing my scoliosis: an autoethnography of healing from bodily doubt through somatic practices

ABSTRACT

When I was twelve years old, I attended a routine school posture screening. Following an orthopaedic examination, I was diagnosed with adolescent idiopathic scoliosis. Although it turned out for me that it was not a serious and progressive form of scoliosis, the diagnosis impacted my life in a disabling way, resulting in feelings of fear, anxiety, and losing a sense of trust in my own body. I experienced bodily doubt. This was also accompanied by me negatively objectifying my body. This article is an evocative autoethnography presenting my personal story of experiencing a medical diagnosis of scoliosis. The health of my spine was evaluated purely by comparison to a desired aesthetical straight line. The way I felt in my body was never taken into consideration during this process. It is also a story of finding my own ways of healing, which was possible through engaging in dance and somatic practices. They allowed me to experience my body as a living subject – a soma. I was able to find ways to positively objectify my body through practices of deep body listening and developing greater bodily awareness. My healing was also connected to re-gaining a sense of bodily certainty and trust, through experiencing moments of wholeness in spontaneous expressive self-movement. Dance is also vital in my story. The personal evolution of approaching dance presents a healing potential of this art, allowing for the conscious, expressive, and therapeutic nature of the living body to be unveiled.

KEYWORDS:

• Scoliosis
• experience
• bodily doubt
• bodily awareness
• living body
• somatic practices
• dance
• autoethnography

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank my both co-authors for their support, knowledge, and encouragement. Professor Ejgil Jespersen gave his expertise in the fields of methodology, philosophical perspectives of the body, and the formation of the research question. Professor Maciej Płaszewski contributed with his evidence-based and person-centred understanding knowledge about the condition of AIS. Furthermore, both co-authors participated in revisions of the article. As a first author of this article, I composed the manuscript text, contributing with my personal story, including experiences connected to scoliosis and to movement practices, as well as their analysis. I also conducted a literature review. Finally, I wish to thank my UCLAN lecturer, Tim Lamford, who always believed in me and to my husband, Rob Grantham, for all his love and support.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Weronika Grantham

Weronika Grantham (MA) is a lecturer and researcher, working at the Department of Sport for All in Biała Podlaska, Józef Piłsudski University of Physical Education, Warsaw, Poland. She is also a Somatic Movement Educator, registered with the International Somatic Movement Education and Therapy Association (ISMETA), after completing an MA course in Dance and Somatic Wellbeing: Connections to the Living body, at the University of Central Lancashire, England. Additionally, she is a yoga teacher and a creative movement artist, working with people of all ages and abilities, using conscious movement practices to assist them in re-discovering the awareness of the living moving body. Her practice guides her research interests in the living body and phenomenology.

Ejgil Jespersen

Ejgil Jespersen is an educated psychologist (cand. psych.) from the University of Aarhus, Denmark and is currently a professor at the Józef Piłsudski University of Physical Education in Warsaw, working at the Department of Rehabilitation in Biała Podlaska. He is also: a former docent at the University College Absalon, Denmark; former professor (associate) and head of the Centre for Adapted Physical Activity Participation Studies, University of Southern Denmark; former professor (associate) and head of the Department of Physical Education, Norwegian School of Sport Sciences; former lecturer in sport studies at the University of Copenhagen and at the University of Aarhus; former lecturer at the Jutland College of Education, Aarhus; former head of research at the Gerlev Sport Academy.

Maciej Płaszewski

Maciej Płaszewski, MEd, PT, PhD is a university professor at the Department of Rehabilitation in Biała Podlaska, Józef Piłsudski University of Physical Education, Warsaw, Poland. He has a background is physiotherapy and physical education, and he also completed an international course of occupational therapy. Apart from academic activity, he is also engaged in management in the health care sector. His research interests are primarily focused on Evidence-Based Practice, secondary research and research synthesis methods. He has been engaged in research synthesis studies addressing management and recommendations for school screening and treatment interventions for people with idiopathic scoliosis, as well as other, especially physiotherapeutic, interventions within his interests, including physical modalities and pulmonary physiotherapy.