‘When you become addicted to it you start having these unrealistic expectations’: young people’s perceptions of porn addiction

ABSTRACT

There is ongoing academic and clinical debate over whether someone can be addicted to porn. To gain insights into the role of porn in young people’s lives, this research sought to explore young people’s understandings of porn as a normal part of their lives, or by contrast, as addictive. Drawing on qualitative small friendship group interview data from 106 school-aged young people in New Zealand, I reflect on young people’s views on porn addiction. The young participants believed that men can quite easily become addicted to porn whereas women are much less likely to watch porn or become addicted. A minority of young men in this study were concerned that they were or had been addicted to porn. Their primary concern with porn was their frequency of use more than any of the myriad of other related issues, which was reflective of broader masculine perspectives and concerns.

KEYWORDS:

• Porn; addiction; young people; education

Introduction

There is ongoing academic and clinical debate over whether someone can be addicted to porn. While porn addiction is not included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual fifth edition, the addictive label transcends medical and professional jurisdiction. Its use is highly and increasingly visible in pop culture, media, online chatrooms and forums, through anecdotal evidence with clinicians and as a feature of school-based sex education. While most of the literature on porn addiction is focused on adults, this research centres on young people aged between 12 and 16 years. This research sought to explore New Zealand young people’s understandings of the role of porn in their lives. By doing so, I hope to centre their voices to examine how they attribute meanings to porn addiction, and how they construct and negotiate these meanings.

Scarcelli (2015) suggests that consumers’ points of view are rarely at the forefront of the discourse around porn for several reasons. First, young people are not usually considered the primary audience of porn and as such they have been traditionally underrepresented in these discussions. Researching young people’s use of porn, from a young person’s perspective, is tricky due to potential ethical anxieties, such as concern that ‘research should not introduce children to sexual material’ (Bragg and Buckingham 2002, 115). The result of this has been the proliferation of effects-based research as already discussed. This style of research has been critiqued as not only being crude and simplistic (Attwood 2005) but having the potential to remove agency from young people as well as limiting insightful research into their perceptions of the role of porn in their lives (Scarcelli 2015). To enhance our knowledge and understandings we must investigate what porn represents for young people. Given the prevalence of the importance of attitudes towards addiction in research with older porn viewers, it is essential that we include young people’s understandings of porn, addiction and the broader implications for their digital sexual lives and relationships.

In this article, I present findings from qualitative small group interviews with young people exploring their perceptions of porn use and addiction. I argue that in accepting young men’s porn use as simply normal or addictive – that is, problematized through lack of individual self-control – we uphold the gendered status quo. In doing so, the centring of addiction not only excludes young women from conversations about porn, but also distracts from other cultural and historical issues such as violence and misogyny, which remain shielded from critique. This ultimately does both young men and women a disservice.

Porn and addiction

The subject of porn has always been fraught with difficulties in terms of reporting, educating (Albury 2014) or even talking about it. Only in recent times has it become an acceptable topic for public discussion. Even now, it remains an area of anxiety, particularly with regards to young people. The existence of porn addiction is highly contested in academic, clinical and legislative arenas (Taylor 2021). In scholarly debates, the terminology, cause and impacts of porn addiction remain debated and inconclusive (Prause et al. 2015; Duffy, Dawson and Nair 2016; Taylor 2020). Traditionally, research on porn has been motivated by user effects (Horvath et al. 2013) and neurobiology (Hilton Donald 2013; De Sousa and Lodha 2017), while more recently researchers have situated porn viewership within a person’s broader socio-political context (Paasonen 2010; Attwood 2011; Taylor and Jackson 2018). Despite porn addiction being omitted from the most recent edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (Weir 2014), clinicians nevertheless report patients self-diagnosing porn addiction in order to try to understand how and how often they viewed porn (Taylor 2020). These concerns are reflected in public policy, where, for example, in the USA, porn addiction is recognized as a public health crisis.

While the debate about the existence of porn addiction remains ongoing (Prause et al. 2015), addiction to porn has become a common theme across popular culture. Porn addiction has been widely reported in film, through confessions of Hollywood actors, such as Terry Crews (Griggs 2016), and Olympians like Nick Willis (Taylor and Jackson 2018). Much media coverage of young people’s use of porn has tenuous links with depression, isolation (Dines 2010) and addiction (Attwood, Smith and Barker 2018). For example, in New Zealand, newspaper coverage of Nick Willis’ self-diagnosed porn addiction in 2016 led to a number of similar articles and prompted conversations which highlighted the prevalence and extent of porn viewership, assumed porn addiction as fact and focused on the risk of addiction over other porn-related issues (Taylor and Gavey 2020). Throughout this reporting, porn addiction is likened to drug addiction and this approach is validated through comments by those in positions of authority (Taylor and Gavey 2020). This is coupled with ideas of abstinence, recovery, rehabilitation and calls for young men to ‘just say no’.

Numerous online tests are available alongside forums and Facebook discussion threads for anyone concerned they might be addicted (Taylor 2020). A number of self-help websites have popped up, such as Your Brain on Porn and Fight the Drug which advocate for abstinence, and alongside many others situating porn addiction within the language of rehabilitation and recovery. These translations indicate that porn addiction does not require universal agreement and the concept now transcends medical or professional jurisdiction: diagnosing an addiction can be done by anybody (Taylor and Gavey 2020, 885).

Those who self-report porn addiction describe the nature of their addiction as too much time spent viewing porn, ‘too much of a good thing’, moving from reasonable to unhealthy viewing (Taylor 2020, 618), searching for more niche/fetish porn and desensitization (Attwood, Smith and Barker 2018). Taylor and Jackson (2018) in their study of porn abstinence forum NoFap found that the perceived ability of porn consumption to impact upon expected behaviours was the most robust sign of addiction. As such, self-control was considered to be central in negotiating ‘appropriate pornographic viewership’ (Taylor 2020, 624). Therefore, perceived addiction may not always be an accurate indicator of addiction to porn (Grubbs et al. 2018).

Responses to concerns over addiction have included ‘nofap’ challenges where men are required to refrain from both porn and masturbation for a period of time (Taylor 2020). A number of studies have addressed men’s engagement with abstinence from porn. Cavaglion (2009) analyzed 2000 messages posted in an online self-help forum and found that users were concerned with the effect porn was having on their social lives, conflict with their expectations of conventional sexual behaviour and feelings of helplessness. The guilt and shame associated with masturbating to porn meant resorting to abstinence. Taylor and Jackson (2018) build upon this to suggest that the men in Cavaglion’s study may have been experiencing distress due to the experience of porn as disturbing their normative sexual performance, suggesting that masturbating to porn was considered to be of lesser value than sex with a partner. In these forums, men were concerned with the threat of excessive porn consumption to the determent of offline sex and emasculation. The forums provided a ripe environment for homosocial bonding.

Young people and porn

Porn is now commonplace and an interwoven part of mainstream culture (Spišák 2016). The continual advancement of technology has led to porn that is cheaper, even more accessible and uncomplicated for individuals to discreetly consume. For young people, the proliferation of smart phones means young people can consume porn in public spaces such as school, the privacy of their own home or almost any location (Horvath et al. 2013).

Much research has been conducted on young people as a population rather than with them. Traditionally, porn research has centred around effects – people, especially young people, are impacted by the porn that they consume, which leads to negative outcomes such as violence and addiction (Tsaliki, Chronaki and Ólafsson 2014). Tsaliki and Chronaki, in their 2015 study of depictions of porn in Greece, have shown than often media articles conflate child sexual exploitation material, often referred to as child porn, with children watching porn – children in porn rather than children watching porn. In this sense, porn is framed as risky (Tsaliki and Chronaki 2015) and children and young people become ‘at risk’. Porn is then a threat from which young people should be protected (Scarcelli 2015).

Some contemporary research suggests that these negative impacts have been overstated in order to fit an alarmist and sensationalist media-driven culture (Buckingham and Chronaki 2014). It is imperative that young people’s engagements should not be read through an alarmist lens because of the reported variation in their use and attitudes about porn. For example, Scarcelli’s (2015) research on the relationship of girls to porn as gender performance suggests that watching porn is a normal activity for many young people and engaging with porn online is a part of everyday life for some teens (see also Tsaliki and Chronaki 2015). Scholars have indicated that young people perceive porn as ubiquitous (Mulholland 2015), as part of society and hard to avoid (Setty 2021). In New Zealand, the Office of Film and Literature Classification conducted an online survey with 2071 young people aged 14–17 years. Of those who had watched porn, 93% thought it was common for boys and 50% thought it was common for girls (Henry and Talbot 2019). Frequent reasons for watching porn include curiosity, education, pleasure and masturbation (Sabina, Wolak and Finkelhor 2008; Bale 2011; Mulholland 2013).

Porn is a gendered phenomenon in terms of perceptions and use, in New Zealand (Henry and Talbot 2019) and elsewhere (Goldstein 2020). Researchers have observed gendered differences with regards to young people watching porn. For example, we know that young men typically watch porn more frequently then young women (Tsaliki, Chronaki and Ólafsson 2014) and they are more likely to be comfortable taking about their engagement with porn (Meehan 2022). In turn, older teen boys tend to perceive porn more positively than girls and younger boys (Martellozzo et al. 2016). Porn use is often viewed through a gendered lens – normalized for young men (Mulholland 2015) and regularly viewed positively for boys, whereas often considered negatively for girls (Tsaliki, Chronaki and Ólafsson 2014). This double standard is reproduced in how young women talk about using porn, for example as ‘disgusting’ or ‘dirty’ (Scarcelli 2015) or ‘shameful’ (Meehan 2022).

While effects-based research remains somewhat influential, more recent porn scholarship has moved away from a focus on exposure and effects to explore the ways in which (young) people are using porn as a vehicle for making sense of their sexuality, sexual desires and experiences (Attwood, Smith and Barker 2018). Whether young people’s engagement with porn is harmful or not remains contested (McKee 2007; Flood 2009) but porn use, particularly for young men, is problematized (Flood 2009; Albury 2014). In recent times we have seen an increase in diverse perspectives as well as levels of excitement, nonchalance and resistance towards porn (Setty 2021). Research with young people has helped us to understand the significance of porn in young people’s lives (Spišák 2016; Attwood, Smith and Barker 2018).

Consumption of porn is intimately entwined with people’s sense of their sexual circumstances, for example pleasure, as well as offering ideas about future relationships (Attwood, Smith and Barker 2018). Young people’s perceptions about porn are more diverse than what is reflected in public policy and debates (Spišák and Paasonen 2017). These perceptions range from the ‘mundane’ to complex interplays between an individual’s body, sexuality and imagination (Attwood, Smith and Barker 2018; Setty 2021). Through engagement with porn, some young people see it as a sort of ‘new normal’ (Mulholland 2013) while others are excluded (Attwood, Smith and Barker 2018). Porn can also be used by young people as an educational resource for learning about different sexual acts as well as for those young people who have questions about their sexuality (Meehan 2020).

Methods

This research sought to explore perceptions of young people’s understandings of the role of porn in their lives. Data were collected using a qualitative focus group design, but with small groups consisting of existing friendship networks (Allen 2005). Young people were recruited from one rural co-educational school and two urban single-sex (one male, one female) schools. In the sample schools, the study was advertised to students, and they self-selected if they were interested in participating. I conducted all of the small friendship group interviews, usually with three or four participants per group, with 106 self-selecting young people, aged 12–16 years.

Guided by Allen’s (2005) methodology in her work on young people, sexuality and education, I specified that young participants should be friends to prompt greater ease when talking about issues around their digital sexual lives and relationships. Small friendship group interviews of established friends in the same year group allowed many of the benefits of a focus group, such as the interaction between participants which enables them to ask each other questions as well as evaluate and consider their own understandings of their lived experiences. Small friendship groups overcame some of the limitations, for example the participants not knowing or liking each other. It was hoped that a comfortable small group setting with established friends would be more conducive to providing deeper insights and respecting confidentiality. I provided refreshments and the groups began with a scenario to open discussion, and then focused on loose topic areas. The participants and I were the only people present at the group interviews, which were held in a classroom at each school.

Given the age range, groups naturally included a broad range of experiences. Most of the participants in the younger groups had very limited experience with sexual interactions and romantic relationships, whereas those in the middle of their teens were more likely to be fully sexually active. Groups have been categorized as younger teens (12–13 years), mid-teens (13–15 years) and older teens (15–16 years), although there was some overlap within groups, for example, 13 and 15 year olds.

Discussions lasted between 60 and 120 minutes, with an average of 80 minutes. In the co-educational school, half of the group interviews were single sex (those who identified as male or female) and half were mixed. There was an option in each school for young people who identified as gender diverse to have their own group or speak to me on a one-on-one basis. No one opted for this, preferring to participate amongst their friends. I obtained written consent from the head teachers at the participating schools, a caregiver for the participants and the participants themselves. Participants’ names and other identifying characteristics have been anonymized. Ethical approval was obtained from the University of Auckland Human Participants Ethics Committee on 4 May 2016 (reference: 017039).

Data were recorded and transcribed verbatim by a professional transcriber, and I verified the transcripts. Drawing on Braun and Clarke’s (2006) thematic analysis framework, which was underpinned by my theoretical standpoint as a feminist poststructuralist/interactionist scholar, data were coded and analyzed using a latent approach to identify initial open organizing codes and to generate sub-codes. To do this, I focused on the meanings constructed by young people (symbolic interactionism) within the discourses which make particular subject positions available (poststructuralism). Common themes were then identified, reviewed, further defined and situated within the scholarly literature. For the purposes of this article, young people’s understandings of the role of porn in their lives, I coded the data for: porn as normative for young men; porn as gendered; porn as addictive; and responding to porn addiction. Excerpts in the following are taken from five groups (group A – female, older teens at a girls’ school; group B – mixed, mid-teens at a co-educational school; group C – male, mid-teens at a co-educational school; group D – male, older teens at a boys’ school; and group E – male, older teens at a boys’ school) from a total of 27 groups. Participants’ pseudonyms correspond with their group – for example, Anna is in group A and Ben is in group B.

Results

The majority of young people felt that boys’ porn use was a normal part of growing up. There were a number of concerns raised around problematic use and treatment of others, but one of the most prevalent worries for young men was addiction. A significant minority were concerned with the potential for addiction generally, and a small number of young men were concerned that they were or had been addicted to porn. Their primary unease with porn was their frequency of use more than any of the array of other issues, reflecting broader masculine perspectives and concerns. I will explore these themes through an analysis of porn as normative for young men, porn as gendered, porn as addictive and responding to porn addiction.

One of the participants in this study (Conor) appeared uncomfortable when we discussed porn addiction – his demeanour changed, and he told the group (group C) that this was the first time he had talked about this. I asked whether he would like to stop but he wished to continue. I fully debriefed the group and with his permission I put him in touch with a youth organization in New Zealand. I invited him to check in with me if he had any further questions or concerns. He emailed me the following day to thank me for talking to him and others at his school.

Porn as normative for young men

The following excerpt from Cain was reflective of many of the young men’s reporting on porn and their use of porn:

I feel like it's become normal. Maybe not at our age, but … well actually, no, I don’t know, because some people watch porn at nine years old, so probably at our age actually. I feel like the majority of people do it.

Most young people felt it was normal for boys to watch porn. Engaging with porn was constructed by both boys and girls as part of boys’ heterosexual masculinity. Many young men discussed porn in an open and honest way, often joking about their use. These discussions provided an outlet for boys to exchange anecdotes which provided opportunities for homosocial bonding. This is evident in the mixed-group conversation, where Ben and Barry report porn as very normal yet Becky expresses some concern around being caught watching porn:

Ben: it’s quite normalised in our young culture. Pretty much everybody views it as a very normal thing, and it’s unfortunately quite an easy topic for people to kind of relate over and stuff.

Barry: If someone was to say, ‘I’ve watched it.’ It’s immaterial, it’s a oncer or whatever. It sometimes get to the stage where people pat you on the back and say, ‘Oh yeah you do that and stuff?’ It’s a very normalised thing. For a lot of boys it’s kind of daily routine and stuff; it’s like a pat on the back become a mission accomplished thing.

Becky: It’s seems like such a normal thing now, maybe if you catch them, but I think  …  I don’t know. Maybe it’s been told through society, being  …  You can watch it, but if you’re caught watching it, it’s weird.

Young men reported various reasons for watching, including pleasure, boredom, curiosity and education. The majority felt their use was appropriate and they considered it to be harmless. They understood that there were proper times and places for watching porn, for example in bed at night or in the morning.

Most boys’ attitudes towards porn tended to be positive, with them describing it as ‘not real life’ or ‘only fantasy’. Most agreed that they would watch less porn if they were in a relationship, suggesting porn was considered of lesser value than sexual activity with a partner. The main reasons boys thought that girls do not watch porn was because of masturbation, which was considered a male activity, even a biological necessity. Some young men felt that girls did not need to watch porn as they ‘could have sex whenever they wanted’ (Ben). In the discussion it is clear that while Ben and Barry see porn use through a biological/hormonal lens, Becky considers the potential link between porn and sex becoming more disposable:

Ben: Because boys do some weird things while watching porn. Who sits there and watches porn without doing anything? Don’t tell me you do; that’s just so weird. Yeah, I feel like girls don’t sit there and watch porn and you know … 

Barry: You’d expect guys to do it more than girls; I guess it’s more common within guys to do it. Testosterone boys, you know, things like that.

Becky: I think that porn tends to remove any emotional aspect or feelings and then girls and boys, if they watch it they just think it’s just a normal thing that you do and it doesn’t mean anything, whereas I’m sure before pornography was so prominent the view on sex wasn’t as normalised. I think nowadays sex has become disposable because people just think that they can do it and then leave it at that. I think no strings attached kind of thing.

Boys felt porn was unrealistic, with some disclosing how they would ‘laugh at it because it’s so unrealistic’ (Eddie). When unpacked further, they felt that there was a difference between fantasy and reality and there were things that they might enjoy in porn but not except a partner to do. When asked to elaborate, Darren responds that it ‘would be shit for them’:

Claire: Do you think there are things that you could watch on porn, that you’d really enjoy, but you wouldn’t ask a partner to do?

Darren: Oh, yeah. No, there’s lots of things I wouldn’t ask a partner to do.

Claire: Why wouldn’t you ask; what would stop you asking?

Darren: Because it would be shit for them.

David: Porn isn’t designed for the pleasure of the people in it; it’s designed for the pleasure of the people watching it.

Again, this was reported by the young men as a normal part of watching porn. The focus was very much on the pleasure of male viewer as opposed to female viewers or performers. Porn provided an outlet for fantasy, not necessarily something that reflected their offline sexual experiences.

Porn as gendered

Many of the girls thought it was very normal for boys to watch porn, which is juxtaposed with their feelings on girls watching porn. The young women displayed various levels of comfort or awkwardness when talking about porn. Several of the female participants categorized porn as ‘dirty’ or ‘shameful’, some reported that they had not watched porn nor planned too, several were curious and others discussed watching porn for pleasure. Most female participants, regardless of whether they engaged with porn, felt that it was shrouded in stigma:

Anna: Girls don’t watch porn like boys. Well, some watch it a bit but it’s not something you they do regularly or even talk about.

Amy: Yeah, you have to think about your reputation. It’s more a boy’s thing really.

Sometimes young women did not approve of porn, but they felt that it was part and parcel of being a young man. Reasons for watching were similar to those of the boys, but they also believed boys were hormonally driven so they felt it was more acceptable for boys than girls. They were concerned that if they were exposed as watching porn they would face reputational damage.

Young women more often discussed the impact on others. Boys’ anxiety about their own use is reinforced by the young women in group A who expand this further to demonstrate how other innocent actions, such as looking at a phone, might become concerning:

Annie: Yeah I don’t know. Like, I wouldn’t mind if it was something like that, because obviously everybody watches it at some point in their life. It wouldn’t bother me that much, unless they were like fully addicted.

Amy: Yeah, then I would have some concerns.

Anna: Like, every time they look at their phone or went on there or something, I would be a bit concerned personally.

This continued in the mixed group, where Barry is concerned with his use and Ben considers the impact on a partner, and this is reinforced by Becky:

Barry: But, that’s like if you know what it is. But, that expectation thing, like setting the weird … and then also when you become addicted to it. I know that’s an issue. Yeah, that’s definitely an issue.

Ben: I also think that if you’re in a relationship and the guy is watching porn, just because you know it's more common, and that sounds really sexist, I feel like the girl would feel really awkward, because obviously she would think she’s not enough.

Becky: Yeah, and makes the girl second think themselves.

Porn as addictive

There were several issues raised around problematic use of porn, including addiction. A significant minority of participants were concerned with the potential for addiction generally, or their own addiction. This concern was usually based around their frequency of use and was often linked to neurological changes, as outlined by Darren:

David: Porn addition can happen to anyone. Like that Olympic cyclist. He’s famous and was still addicted.

Darren: Porn addiction is a thing, and in the case where someone is addicted perhaps those two realities could be merged.

Dan: As long as you know the difference between what it is and what it isn’t.

Darren: The complicated part is when the subconscious changes; your brain will become adapted to this one thing, like habits maybe. You eat a food too much and you get bored of it. Subconscious changes are probably what we most worry about. You get a porn video knowing this is not real life, I won’t get affected by this, but subconsciously maybe you will.

Porn addiction was assumed as fact and they evidenced its existence by citing examples from social media, addiction-focused websites and the media – including celebrity confessions. A number of young men drew on New Zealand Olympian Nick Willis’ televised struggle with porn addiction. Both young men and women believed that young men could quite easily become addicted to porn.

There was little discussion about the potential for young women to become addicted. This was partly due to the belief of many young men that most girls did not watch porn and that addiction was linked to boy’s uncontrollable hormones. Some general comments included ‘I feel people who are addicted don’t actually know they are’ (Anna), ‘for me addiction is when you can’t stop doing something, and you want to’ (Amy) and ‘it’s not like we watch it all the time to be addicted’ (Amy). The association between the similarities of addiction to porn and addiction to drugs was frequent in many groups. Links were made between addiction to porn and the impact on real-life sex across girls, boys and mixed-sex groups, as is evident in the following excerpts from groups A, B and C:

Anna: I suppose some people could be addicted to it, but I mean, yeah, I don’t know.

Amy: I suppose if you watch a lot of it, you either could be lonely, or you’re just like physically addicted to it. So, if you’re in a relationship or something and you watch a lot of porn you’re addicted; like I’d say you’re addicted. But, if you’re like alone and you don’t have many friends or anything like that, it could just be … 

In a similar vein, the boys’ group make a connection between loneliness/being single and an increased potential for addiction:

Ben: Like, we said before, like if you’re single and you have been for a while, you can get just so addicted and forget about ever trying to get with someone.

Becky: Having that connection with another person?

Ben: Yeah, and you can easily just … find all your favourite videos and just do what you want with them.

Barry: Yeah, so I feel it's kind of like drugs to be honest; can get addicted real easy.

This is continued in group C, where both Conor and Cain are concerned with addiction leading to preference for porn over a real-life sexual partner, which fees into the cycle of being single or lonely thus fuelling addiction:

Cain: And then you get people who get addicted to it, who can’t actually have sex properly, but they’re fine with watching porn … so like everyone starts to get … addiction is the problem.

Conor: I reckon it can actually become a problem when you’re overly addicted to it; where you actually prefer it over real life. That’s when it becomes a problem, and you literally prefer that over a girlfriend. You know? That’s actually a problem.

Most young men spoke about the impact of addiction on the users of porn, in terms of their use, perceived lack of control or sexual relationships with a partner. In group B, Ben describes how porn use leads to the need for ‘weirder’ stuff. This theme is commonly reflected on websites such as Your Brain on Porn. In group D, the boys touch on the impact of porn on women but this is more to do with addiction rather than porn per se. In doing so they remove focus from the broader issues of mainstream porn, of women and exploitation of female performers, and bring the conversation back to problems associated with use, such as addiction and erectile dysfunction:

Ben: People start looking for weirder and weirder stuff.

Barry: Basically just keep digging themselves a deeper and deeper hole.

Blake: I think eventually it becomes like a coping mechanism for people, and they just use it to release positive chemicals.

Ben: It becomes like an addiction. People don’t realise because they think, ‘oh yeah it’s fine’.

This continued in the mixed group where David is concerned with frequency of use, desensitization and erectile dysfunction. This is reinforced by Darren who believes that porn addiction can result in unrealistic expectations:

David: Yep, so I guess if you are watching a porn a lot, and even though you think this is completely unreal; subconsciously it’s affecting you.

Darren: When you become addicted to it; then you start having these unrealistic expectations

David: I think for me and my opinion is that the problem with porn lies more with affecting you rather than your views about others, the desensitisation, and how it leads to sometimes erectile dysfunction. I think that is more of a problem than making you more aggressive.

Responding to porn addiction

Several ways of responding to porn addiction were discussed. These included monitoring your use, talking to someone, abstinence from porn and abstinence from both porn and masturbation. When asked whether masturbation and porn were always linked, the young men in group D talked about the natural link – porn is very accessible and the effect on the brain. While they believe that you can masturbate without porn, Dan and Darren disagree over whether it is necessary:

David: A lot of times it’s so accessible that it almost has sort of become one of the same.

Darren: Yeah, they become accustom to that.

David: Yeah, because you’re using it so much for that it becomes in your brain that they’re one of the same, even if you did once view them separately.

Dan: I don’t see one without the other. I think biologically though it’s not. That’s what the case is, but it’s sort of society got to the point where it’s sort of in your head; it’s sort of constructed that they are.

Darren: I personally don’t need it, or it’s completely served as one of the same, but it’s definitely a correlation; a strong correlation.

The boys in group D advocate for an abstinence approach if there are concerns about addiction. While Darren reports not needing porn, although he believes there is a correlation between porn and masturbation, he is the first in this group to suggest ‘cold turkey’. The boys in this group question what addiction means, and again this was conceptualized in terms of frequency. While they have all accepted porn addiction as a concept, even as fact, the lack of academic and clinical agreement on what constitutes porn addiction poses problems in terms of categorizing how much is too much:

Darren: Cold turkey.

Dan: … and not do it for a certain amount of time, and see if you can resist, but if you can’t go a week or three days without it then it probably is, but if you can like you go for a week, don’t do it, just be confident that you’re not addicted, and so on there’s always afterwards.

David: We’re not really educated about this at school. We still have to figure out ourselves whether we’re addicted or not, or how many times we’re doing it; if we’re doing it to many times a week.

While porn is an important part of homosocial bonding for many young men, concerns about use may not be raised in this setting. Conor elaborates on his anxiety about his own use. This was one of the most emotionally charged groups as Conor appeared uncomfortable. When asked whether we should stop and take a breather, he wished to continue as he said this was the first time he had an opportunity to talk about porn use ‘in real life’:

Conor: It’s just something we can’t share it with each other. So, we’ve got into a routine practically, and it’s just something you can’t break, even if you realise how many problem, like issues it has, we just can’t break that. I was interested at a really young age, it’s just something I liked doing, but I wish I had more understanding of it, like a grip on it, like not to be able; actually fully break away from it.

Cain: but before you actually even stop the habit, but if you sort of know how to perform the healthy habits already in a healthier way; I think that will be much more beneficial, and once you’re already onboard with it, having been told you’re evil; then you’re sort of just like … Yeah, know what you’re getting into eh, because usually it happens by people being introduced to it.

Cameron: People can be introduced to it at a really young age, and then it’s stopped, because that’s a very early sexual experience years before they’re probably going to have a sexual experience anyway in real life; and so, since they’re introduced to it at such a young age that normalises it even further. It’s pretty bad.

Discussion

This study highlights the ways in which porn is an everyday part of both girls’ and boys’ lives. Even for those who do not watch porn themselves, there is an awareness, and even concern, about the impact of porn on others, mainly boys. Both young men’s and young women’s use of porn is intertwined with social constructions of gender, sexuality and sexual pleasure. As Attwood (2005, 80) points out, porn becomes a resource that is used as part of the performance of gender identities within peer groups. Porn use continues to be highly gendered; it is considered normal for boys to use porn, with the potential to become addictive, yet it remains less common for girls. This is reflective of broader adult concerns (Taylor and Gavey 2020) which are underpinned by heterosexual masculine perspectives, which deem porn use as more acceptable for men than women (Scarcelli 2015).

There was an overwhelming focus on user effects and the conversations around porn use centred around traditional gendered understandings that prioritize men’s sexual pleasure and frequently position women as the means of achieving that pleasure (Brown, Schmidt and Robertson 2018). These discourses serve to reinforce entrenched biological norms which are wound up in notions of self-control; for example, women are to control themselves sexually, whereby men can become afflicted with uncontrollable sexual urges (Gavey 2005).

The juxtaposition of young men’s porn use as either normal or addictive serves to reinforce the established gendered imbalance when it comes to porn. While young men’s porn use is problematized, perspectives still privilege masculine heterosexuality. The porn addiction narrative frees users of porn, predominately men, from moral judgement (Oeming 2018). Porn becomes the issue, not the user – if porn is addictive, it is hard for men to abstain when watching porn is naturally connected to the essence of manhood (Weeks 1985). Even responses to problematic porn use revolved around the user, for example, abstaining from both porn and masturbation. In a sense, the centring of porn addiction as a male concern distracts from other issues concerned with the role of porn – such as misogyny and violence (McGlynn 2010).

Taylor and Gavey (2020) suggest that it is convenient to focus on addiction at the expense of the historical and cultural contexts in which porn, and porn viewership, takes place. In this way, ‘normative’ porn consumption is shielded from critique. This was reflected in some young men’s comments, for instance the boys in group D, who differentiate between something that is okay to expect a female performer to do but not a partner. As David summed up earlier, ‘porn isn’t designed for the pleasure of the people in it; it’s designed for the pleasure of the people watching it’. In addition, by positioning porn in this way – normative for boys – it can also limit young women’s options for reacting to it; porn becomes ‘just a fact of life’ (García-Favaro 2015, 368).

This masculinist perspective adds an extra facet to the debate around porn. Oeming (2018) questions whether the male-focused narrative of porn addiction can be interpreted as a backlash against third-wave feminism. Especially as the rise of international right-wing populism is becoming increasingly visible. Whereas decades of concern about porn have been towards women – performers, trafficked women and those affected by sexual violence – collective public anxieties appear to be increasing, but only due to the perceived impact on men’s well-being. The reframing of porn as a men’s health issue shifts the cultural narrative from ‘women need to be protected from men’ to ‘men need to be protected from porn’ (Oeming 2018, 215).

Limitations

Small friendship group interviews with young people provided rich and insightful data for this study. However, it is worth noting that this type of data collection may also limit the opportunity for certain self-disclosures or indeed the uptake of ‘expert’ subject positions. Further research may include one-on-one follow-up interviews with participants to create space for conversations around porn addiction and, potentially, further discussion of personal, political or moral concerns.

Conclusion

The existence, terminology and impact of porn addiction remains contested. Nevertheless, porn addiction remains popular in media reportage, pop culture, social media and celebrity confessions. Much writing on porn addiction focuses on user effects, and is often equated with drug education and couched in notions of abstinence, recovery and rehabilitation. Men’s use of porn is problematized, yet still privileged when it is considered to be normative. Much literature focuses on adult men’s perceptions and experiences with porn addiction. For most of the young people in this study, boys’ use of porn was considered normal, even expected. A significant minority of both boys and girls were concerned about the potential of young men becoming addicted.

The uncritical acceptance of porn addiction provides a comfortable approach to ensure the normalization of young men’s porn use, while simultaneously denying scope for the inclusion of young women’s views and feminist critiques. In doing so it reproduces a gendered imbalance, privileging male pleasure while denying young women the right to active sexual expression. This has the potential to negatively impact both young men and young women.

This unwavering recognition upholds a gendered binary around porn use by normalizing normative male viewing as acceptable and justifiable through biological reasoning. That is, boys have greater sexual needs and so they watch porn as a masturbation aid. Porn provides a space whereby young men can enjoy activities that they would not necessarily engage in with a partner. Here, male consumerist pleasure is favoured over that of female performers, and provides opportunities for homosocial bonding. Porn use only becomes problematized when it is individualized. Porn addiction as a concept is accepted without question, understood through frequency of use, which arises when the viewer lacks self-control. Individual problematic users are stigmatized rather than the use of porn per se, or the types of porn available or being consumed. The emphasis on individual ‘addicted’ users reassures other young men that their use is normal. This has led to distress for several young men and responses that do not address issues around the construction of porn addiction.

There was a consensus that only young men have the potential to become addicted to porn as girls are perceived to watch less porn – they do not have the same biological needs as they are deemed to be less sexual than boys and less likely to masturbate. The implications of this are twofold. First, young women remain excluded from discussions about porn use. This is reflective of the broader debates around women’s sexuality as being less active than men’s. In framing the discussion in this way, girls are denied the same rights to sexual expression as boys. Second, feminist concerns around much mainstream porn are omitted. While some of the male participants in this study acknowledged that some there are issues with certain types of porn – for example, certain things they enjoyed watching but would not do with a partner – the focus on the individual user and addiction removes scope to interrogate gendered concerns with porn more generally. Feminist critiques are ignored, entrenched biological norms are rationalized over the treatment and pleasure of female performers and viewers, and masculine social norms are upheld. It is clear that we need to move beyond the simplistic belief that porn use is an individual issue and consider the gendered, sociocultural contexts which exist within young people’s engagement with porn.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author.