The Dilemma of Confrontation

Abstract

This article describes ways that families with a drinking adult attempt to cope with their situation. I interviewed individuals who were at least 10 years' old from 18 families (N = 51). Problem drinkers reported that it is helpful when nondrinking members do not speak about their drinking. Adult and adolescent nondrinking members tended to feel guilty for both confronting and for not confronting the drinker about the situation. Confrontation was typically felt to decrease the influence of nondrinking members on the problem drinking, and was regarded as potentially dangerous. Some children were described as having more influence on the drinker, because they initiated less conflict with him or her. The interviews illustrate the stress that coping with problem drinking may represent for nondrinking relatives, and the negative impact it can have on their self-esteem.

Key Words:

• Family
• alcohol
• confront
• qualitative
• self-esteem