Raising Our Sons

Abstract

Gay men become fathers for a variety of reasons. The research literature on the parenting abilities and styles of gay fathers is examined and compared with that of non-gay fathers. Particular attention is given to the idea of gay fathers raising sons in relation to cultural stereotypes about homosexual men and gender role development and identity. Rather than promoting traditional masculine role development among sons, gay fathers may offer their children the advantage of serving as a model of androgyny. The benefits offered in this regard to children are discussed in relation to long-term life span development of children. Children of gay fathers also benefit by learning about the insidious nature of homophobic and heterosexist attitudes. By disclosing their sexual orientation and lifestyle to children, gay fathers help children to learn the importance of tolerance and the necessity of respecting individual differences in others.

Key Words:

• Gay fathers
• life span development
• androgyny
• tolerance
• heterosexism