Beyond “Just Saying No”

Summary

How can women deal with unwanted sexual advances from male dating partners in ways that are effective and that, at least initially, take the men's feelings into account? In Study 1,354 under graduate men watched videotapes in which a woman either did or did not openly communicate early during a date that she did not want to do more than kiss. Open communication decreased men's ratings of how much she wanted petting and intercourse, how likely they would be to attempt these behaviors with her, and how “led on” they would feel if they attempted these behaviors and she refused. In Study 2, 424 undergraduate men were presented with 28 responses women could make to a man's sexual advances. They rated each on its effectiveness in getting them to stop their advances and its effect on the relationship. Women can use this information when responding to unwanted sexual advances, taking into account the relative importance of stopping the advance and maintaining the relationship.