No, I’m not crazy: a Black feminist perspective of gaslighting within doctoral socialization

Abstract

I problematize my first semester in a PhD program using autoethnographic methodology drawing from my perspective as a Black feminist scholar as well as give suggestions for gaslighting as a theoretical framework for future work on academic socialization. I use Black Feminist Thought to contextualize my analytic memos and journal entries as data to make meaning of my doctoral socialization. In addition, I explain factors of my early experience in a PhD program within the theoretical lens of gaslighting to understand how socialization from the program’s directors aligned with the desires of the academy. For this paper, gaslighting as a theory is specific to a form of bullying that I experienced in an academic setting fraught with various organizational safeguards that place accountability on Black women to remedy an unconstructive setting. Specifically, I write to other Black women because understanding my experiences situated within critical theorizations of gaslighting have eased by burden; however, institutional actors within the academy must also read and listen and be genuinely open to radical change.

Keywords:

• Black feminist thought
• autoethnography
• doctoral socialization
• gaslighting

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Acknowledgements

Thank you to Dr. Stephanie Masta for the mentorship provided in writing this article.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Janelle Grant

Janelle Grant is a PhD Student in Curriculum Studies in the Department of Curriculum and Instruction at Purdue University, Indiana, USA.