Parental Ethno theories of two groups of Chinese immigrants: a perspective from migration

ABSTRACT

This paper argues against the stereotypical image of the Chinese parent by studying how two groups of Chinese immigrant mothers, economic and knowledge immigrants, rebuilt their parenting ethnotheories after migration to the Netherlands. The results show that economic immigrants believe in natural growth and direct their children through authoritarian relationships, while knowledge immigrants see parenting as a task which demands much personal effort and an equal, transparent and close parent–child relationship. These differences are explained through a focus on both their pre-migration histories and how these are reinterpreted in the migration context.

KEYWORDS:

• Chinese immigrants
• parental ethnotheories
• modern childhood
• migration history

Introduction

Migration is usually considered to put pressure on the cultural practices of immigrants. Parenting, which can be considered a ‘central sphere’ of a culture, can therefore be expected to undergo important changes during migration. Surprisingly, research on the parenting of Chinese immigrants often ignores these dynamics and emphasizes cultural continuity and stability. Examples of such a ‘culturally deterministic’ approach can be found in studies on the parenting practices of Chinese-Americans in North America (Canada and the US) that suggest that Chinese parents generally value formal school education (Li, 2004) and adopt an authoritarian parenting style (Gorman, 1998), which differs qualitatively from the parenting style within North American culture. Similar results have been found in Chinese populations in other Western countries, for example, Australia (Guo, 2014) and the Netherlands (Geense, 2005). Overall, Chinese parenting is seen as relatively stable and homogeneous, irrespective of the dynamics of migration.

In this paper, our goal is not only to show how the practice of parenting, as a cultural practice, undergoes major changes post-migration, but also that these post-migration changes largely depend on the access particular subcultures and subgroups had to ideologies of parenting pre-migration. In other words, our aim is to show how in migration a variety of new cultural practices are constructed, which also point back to earlier differences between groups, as well as how these are acted upon in migration. Considering such dynamics is an important tool to counter stereotyping of, in this case Chinese parenting, and at the same time an alternative to an assimilation approach in which it is assumed that all migrants gradually adapt to mainstream cultures in the same way. Although research is beginning to focus on the process of gradual change in parenting practices related to migration dynamics as an alternative to assimilation approaches (De Haan, 2011), the issue of how the larger migration dynamics might impact on such cultural processes is often ignored (Ochocka & Janzen, 2008). In the study of the parenting of Chinese with an immigrant background, this perspective is particularly absent. Moreover, even if it is largely known that Chinese immigrants differ, for example, in terms of their socio-economic status (Gijsberts, Huijnk & Vogels, 2011) and depending on the migration wave, to our knowledge little research has looked at the consequences of such differences in the reconstruction of cultural practices such as parenting. This paper addresses this gap by showing how distinct groups of Chinese immigrants make use of their cultural roots differently when they build their parenting strategies post-migration. We show how these differences can be explained by their history of migration, including their socio-economic and cultural position pre-migration. Also, in terms of international literature on family migration, this perspective adds an important dimension. Although variety in child-rearing patterns has been observed and some effort has been made to understand this variety from a cultural perspective, few studies include the wider cultural dynamics typical for migration including both sending and receiving cultures. Exceptions are studies that, for instance, document that in Chinese migrant families the extended family provides caregiving to the offspring of their children both locally and internationally (Glick & van Hook, 2002), or Geddie’s study among recent postgraduates in the U.K. and Canada (Geddie, 2013), that illustrates that relationship considerations (such as caring for aging parents and future childcare) are intermingled with these young professionals’ settlement considerations (Geddie, 2013). This study aims to fill in this gap by documenting how two groups of Chinese immigrants, with diverse migration motives and initial cultural profiles pre-migration, take up and reconstruct their parenting post-migration. We consider that a comparative approach, which includes pre-and post-migration factors, is a useful tool to help us situate the process of gradual change post-migration within the larger dynamics of migration.

Harkness and Super (2006) have suggested that the concept of parental ethnotheories could be an adequate tool when examining parental belief systems in a cross-cultural context. Parental ethnotheories refer to implicit ideas about the ‘natural’ or ‘right’ way to think and act regarding children, parenting and families, and are often linked to cultural themes that also operate in other domains of a culture (Harkness & Super, 2006). Using this concept, we explore the parental ethnotheories of Chinese immigrant mothers by analysing how they speak about the ways they should, or do, organize their children’s daily lives, and the culturally informed customs that are instantiated within these settings.

The study focuses on two questions: (1) What are the differences in parenting ethnotheories between the two distinct subgroups of Chinese immigrants in the Netherlands (see detailed description as below)? and (2) How can these differences be explained by their cultural roots as well as their migration history? In answering these questions, we move beyond a culturally deterministic model and study cultural practices of immigrants within a frame of pre- and post-migration dynamics.

Before presenting the details of our study, we will first describe the two groups of immigrants our study deals with, as well as provide background information on how parenting has been conceived and changed in China. We will do this both in general terms, making an argument that modernization of parenting in China does not equal modernization of parenting in ‘the West’, but we will also show how the groups of immigrants we are dealing with in our study have had different access to this process of modernization, which also puts them in a different position when it comes to taking up their parenting after migration in a Western context such as in the Netherlands.

Two kinds of Chinese immigrants

Although the first Chinese sailors arrived in the Netherlands more than 100 years ago, the number of Chinese who have lived in the Netherlands for longer than 30 years is small. However, the Chinese population has increased considerably in recent years, mainly due to immigration from mainland China, and the Chinese are now the fifth largest ethnic group in the Netherlands with a population of over 120 thousand, including second generation (Gijsberts et al., 2011).

We study two subgroups of Chinese immigrants: ‘(highly-) skilled immigrants (in Dutch kennismigrant, literally meaning “knowledge immigrant”)’ and their counterparts at the opposite end of the skill scale, ‘lower-skilled immigrants’. This typology discriminates between the different groups of Chinese immigrants in the Netherlands and can also be found in international migration literature (e.g. in the US, Wang, 2008; and the UK, 2014). In the Netherlands, while both groups share a Chinese cultural background, they are different not only in skill levels, but also in socio-economic background, associated subcultures within China, and the kind of immigrant communities they have formed. More importantly, they come from different migratory ‘waves’ that differ at the time and the reason for migration (Wang, 2008).

Specifically, the low-skilled immigrants are mostly small-business owners, and often migrate in groups from small rural towns and retain their community structures and traditions. But this well-known image is no longer all-encompassing, although they are widely spread in the Netherlands as their Chinese restaurants and snack bars exist in almost every Dutch town. The population of ‘highly skilled immigrants’ has increased in recent decades. These immigrants originally only intended to obtain a degree in higher education within the Netherlands but then settled in the country after graduation. This group of Chinese immigrants are mainly living in the urban areas where the white-collar jobs are allocated. Although there are other types of Chinese immigrants – for example, investment immigrants and refugees – in the Netherlands and elsewhere, these knowledge-oriented highly skilled and economic-oriented low-skilled migrant groups continue to be typical of Chinese immigrants in the Netherlands and worldwide (Wang, 2014), which also means the implications of this study transcend the Dutch context.

Most low-skilled immigrants who migrate to the Netherlands for economic reasons come from a lower socio-economic class and rural areas called ‘Qiao Xiang’, meaning ‘the hometown of overseas Chinese’, where the idea of moving abroad is popular (Liu, 2005). For generations, migration was considered the last chance for a better life, as low schooling levels usually mean they are unable to compete in the local labour market (Zeng & Cao, 2005). Chain migration from local communities in China has resulted in relatively isolated Chinese communities in the host country. As a consequence, their contact with the culture of the host society is limited both pre- and post-migration.

In contrast, Chinese skilled immigrants in the Netherlands mainly come from the middle-class, living in more economically developed urban areas of China. They have relatively good job opportunities in China, but their ambition is to pursue higher education of a better quality or a better career abroad. For them, going abroad is not an escape, but a way to ‘realize their dream’. Their choice of destination depends less on where they have relatives and acquaintances but more on where they can find the knowledge and resources they need. Their chances of being in touch with different cultural perspectives, both in China and abroad, are substantially higher than for the low-skilled immigrants.

In international literature, although increasing attention has been paid to the newly emerged highly skilled immigrant group, most research has focused on how this group impacts upon local and global economic developments; and important motives related to their life course choice such as parenthood, have remained underemphasized (Bailey & Mulder, 2017). From this perspective, the study adds to this literature by revealing how parenthood is a key factor in settlement considerations.

Historical roots of notions of childhood and parenting

In research, the parenting of immigrants is often implicitly or explicitly evaluated against notions of ‘Modern Childhood’ as developed in the West (de Haan, 2011). However, to understand parenting practices of Chinese immigrants, it is of paramount importance to be aware of the historical roots of concepts of childhood in China, which only partly stem from Western influences.

Chinese conceptions of childhood have their own traditional roots and paths towards modernization. Confucianism and Taoism are often mentioned as important philosophical roots of traditional views on childhood and parenting in China. Even if Confucianism is seen as a philosophy comprising a more general set of ethical and moral rules, it also plays a significant role in family life and education. Social order is regulated in Confucianism through basic hierarchical relationships which are well defined and relatively fixed. A key concept of the most fundamental relationship, between father (or parent) and child, is ‘xiao’, or showing filial piety (Hsiung, 2005): children should unconditionally obey and respect parents and seniors. Practising ‘xiao’ means that children should take care of their parents and support them, and should not be rebellious but show love, respect and courtesy. Making sure that children are ‘xiao’ is also the task of society as a whole, and parents are expected to be loving and to take good care of their offspring, thereby raising a good member of society. This also implies the obligation to support success in formal schooling, which is considered a key virtue in traditional Confucianism (Chao, 1995).

Although Taoism is less often seen as a resource for parenting, as a philosophy of life it is also influential and has important implications for the upbringing of children. Taoism states that the world is inherently perfect and balanced if people do not disturb it (in Chinese Wuwei) (Kohn, 1992) and act according to its Tao/Dao, the principle of ‘naturalness’ (Ho & Kang, 1984). According to Taoism, children are closest to this naturalness and do not need to learn from adults. Instead, adults should learn from children about Tao/Dao by ‘removing the dust (desire and prejudice) on the mirror of the heart’ and ideally rediscovering their connection with nature (Wang & Yu, 2015).

Western notions of childhood, such as child-centeredness and increasing parental investment, have had an impact on parental ideology in contemporary China, although it would be one-sided to describe this as a result of Westernization (Stearns, 2006, 2005). For example, since the late 1970s, the one-child policy has generated ideologies of child-centeredness and increasing parental investment strategies in its own right (Nylan, 2003). Especially in urban centres, children from single-child families have become the centre of the family and have been characterized as ‘little emperors (or princesses)’, who can have anything in the household and claim family members’ attention anytime they want (Feng, 2000).

Regional differences in China

It is important to realize that there is immense cultural variety in Chinese society. The low-skilled immigrants coming from particular rural areas live a relatively isolated life before and after migration, which might contribute to maintaining traditional Chinese parenting values. Meanwhile, through a rapid modernization process in China, traditional Chinese parenting values have been eroded in the urban areas, where most of the young, highly skilled immigrant parents come from (Cheung & Kwan, 2009). The transition from state socialism to a regulated market economy has put further pressure on urban parents to ensure their child’s success and prepare them for a new kind of future involving merit-based careers (Anagnost, 2008).

The vast amount of literature on the urban–rural dichotomy in Chinese households has documented that this dichotomy also impacts upon childhood and parenthood, which again is associated with the unbalanced pace of ‘modernization’ between rural and urban areas. For instance, Qian found that children in rural areas spend more time playing traditional games outdoor with peers and helping with household chores, whereas children in Shanghai, the biggest metropolis in China, have very strict schedules of extracurricular activities aiming at facilitating their intellectual development (Qian, 2011).

This means that, even before migration, the highly skilled immigrants have had more access to ‘modern’ ideologies of parenting, such as the child-centred idea. Furthermore, the two groups have had different scholarship experiences. Even if basic education has become widely available in most regions in China, access to senior secondary school (3 years) and higher education afterwards is competitive. This has led to increasing pressure on students and parents to prepare children for the National Higher Education Entrance Examination, which provides access to higher education. We expect that knowledge-oriented immigrants in our study have had more access to higher levels of schooling and education than low-skilled immigrants.

Methodology

With the purpose of pursuing a contextual representation of the parenting experiences of the two Chinese immigrant groups, a qualitative approach was employed, using in-depth interviews as the primary method. The parental ethnotheories held by mothers were obtained from their narrative regarding how they arrange their children’s ‘environment of development’ (Super & Harkness, 2009) and why they do so.

Sampling strategy

To avoid cohort differences, only individuals who migrated after 2000 and who came from mainland China were invited to participate. With the purpose of making the sample representative for both populations, we decided to recruit parents from Utrecht, which is a medium- to large-sized city in central Netherlands, where representative subpopulations of both groups can be found. Different access strategies were employed according to ‘where parents would gather’.

To recruit the low-skilled immigrants, we contacted the three most important Chinese associations in Utrecht to help. Then the ‘snowball’ sampling strategy was used to invite more. As highly skilled immigrants frequently connect on digital platforms, we recruited this group not only via the Chinese associations but also via the two most popular online forums among the Chinese community in the Netherlands (gogodutch.com and xinhelan.com). Within these communities, the criterion for inclusion was being a Chinese mother of a child between 0 and 18 years of age. Only participants who fulfilled the following three criteria were invited: (1) self-identification (as the distinction between low and highly skilled immigrant is well established), (2) occupation and (3) level of education. This group assignment was also checked after more background information had been gathered.

Data collection

The interview outline included the following aspects: (1) basic demographic information (2) reasons for migration and career perspectives and (3) views on parenting and formal education.

We interviewed 37 mothers between March and November 2012. Based on their reason for migration, their educational level and occupation, we allocated 16 to the group of low-skilled immigrants and 21 to the group of highly skilled immigrants. For example, a participant appearing to be a lower educated restaurant owner/worker who came to the Netherlands to work was assigned to the low-skilled immigrant group, while those who came to the Netherlands initially for higher education and subsequently found a white-collar job were assigned to the group of highly skilled immigrants.

Every participant was interviewed individually by the first author, in private (at home or in an office) or in a quiet public space, such as a café or school. The interviewer introduced herself and described the aim of the project and the principle of anonymity and confidentiality. Verbal informed consent was obtained in all cases. The language of the interviews was Mandarin Chinese, which all of the interviewees and the interviewer spoke fluently. Each interview lasted approximately 50 min for low-skilled immigrants and 70 min for highly skilled immigrants, as this second group was generally more ‘talkative’. The interview was conducted in a semi-formal and semi-structured way. In fact, many participants continued to talk about their parenting ideas naturally after they had told the stories of their life and motherhood. All the interviews were audiotaped. After the interview, each participant was given a small gift, such as flowers or a notebook.

Analysis

All the audiotaped interviews were transcribed verbatim into Chinese and then translated into English. The transcripts were coded line-by-line with the help of Nvivo 10.0. The first part of the analyses aimed to understand migration motives and histories in greater depth. This part consisted of describing, identifying and systematizing both groups’ life experiences as immigrants, focusing on pre- and post-migration factors, paying attention to socio-economic, educational and psychological perspectives. We focused on the following themes: (1) life before migration, including hometown information (urban or rural areas), migration culture (e.g. was the interviewee from a qiaoxiang or not), family network (in the hometown and elsewhere), (2) their ideas on their formal educational experiences, (3) motives for migration and (4) settling down stories, including their vision of the future for themselves and their children.

A second step in the analyses consisted of describing belief systems related to child development and parenting. We paid attention to the following issues: (1) how they viewed their role as a parent, and how they organized the daily lives of their children in practice, including whether they involved others in their parenting and work-life balance issues, (2) their reflections on the kind of relationship implied in parenting and (3) their views on their children’s formal education, including the value attached to education, parental involvement in the schools of their children, and their expectations about their children’s future schooling. As a third step, we used the more general contextual data to understand how possible differences in ethnotheories on parenting could be explained.

Results

Demographic differences

As expected and implied by our sampling strategy, the differences between both groups in terms of educational level and occupation were salient, as the low-skilled immigrants’ highest level of education was in most cases relatively low (middle to secondary school), while the highly skilled immigrants had degrees, ranging from a Bachelor to a doctorate. Overall, the husbands of the participants had similar educational backgrounds to their wives. Furthermore, more highly skilled immigrant mothers (six) had Dutch husbands, compared to the low-skilled immigrant mothers (only one of them). In addition, the participants in the low-skilled immigrant group identified themselves as snack bar or restaurant owners, or housewives, while mothers from the highly skilled immigrant group had higher status jobs, such as managers or computer scientists, as well as some being housewives. There were no major differences between both groups of mothers in terms of age. This is the consequence of our choice to work with mothers who migrated to the Netherlands after 2000. No difference was found in family size. Although it is implied that the groups differed in education and occupation level in our sampling strategy, we would like to emphasize that our goal was not to determine if these two groups differed in background, but to understand how the parenting of these groups, which represent different categories of migrants, has potentially developed differently.

Migration history of low-skilled immigrants: chain migration and owning a business

Xin [28, secondary school, housewife]: … I didn’t go to a senior secondary school. After graduating from middle school, I stopped. In the beginning, I worked as a shop assistant, and then I opened my own small shop. It was not a good job … On top of this, in my home town we have this idea that it’s better to work abroad. Also, my parents wanted me to come. At that time, I had an uncle here, so I came to join him …

I:

Your uncle helped you to find that job?

Xin:

Yes, he gave me the job. It was in Assen first, then Arnhem, then Utrecht … all in restaurants.

Similarly to Xin, most low-skilled immigrants in our study came from Wenzhou, Zhejiang Province, a well-known qiaoxiang. Others came from Guangdong Province, which also has many qiaoxiang areas, or areas characterized by international migration. Despite different local traditions and dialects, they mostly found employment in the catering industry and grocery business after migration.

A little more than half of the low-skilled immigrants were single and had little savings when they arrived. Their motives for migration could be described as typical for chain migration: their choice of destination had been determined by the fact that relatives had already migrated to the Netherlands a long time ago. They had various solutions to settling permanently: just after arriving in the Netherlands Xin registered as a refugee and Ming [29, MBO, housewife] as an orphan (she was told to destroy her passport, report a lower age and invent a story about losing both her parents). The others officially settled as a result of work opportunities, under a general amnesty or through family reunification/marriage. Most of the work opportunities in the Netherlands were provided by sponsors who invited them or by other Chinese immigrants. Nine mothers in this group reported that they just followed their family members’ advice to migrate to the Netherlands. Ting [32, secondary school, snack bar owner] reported: ‘I got into a muddle, really, I didn’t know. It wasn’t clear, [it was] also not clear to me what I wanted …’. Some of their family members were already in the Netherlands. With the exception of Ming and Yu [27, MBO housewife], who were financially supported by their parents, all the others were sponsored by husbands, relatives or acquaintances. These family members remain important after migration as sources of help in finding housing and employment, for example, and they continue to be a significant point of reference.

Most of the low-skilled migrant group attended middle or secondary school in China and did not seek to study further in the Netherlands. Only two attended school in the Netherlands, having migrated before the age of 18 and for the reason that schooling is compulsory until that age. According to the accounts about their schooling, the low-skilled immigrants did not do well, or had little interest in schooling and reported that there were no opportunities for further schooling in their home towns, and that even if they had earned a college degree, job opportunities would have been limited. ‘So why not go on an adventure and explore [the world] when you are young?’, as Si [24, secondary school, housewife] stated.

The low-skilled immigrants’ visions of the future generally coincided with their current status as small-business owners: to be rooted in and adopted by a particular place and have a business of their own. Some of them, such as Ting [32, secondary school], Lee [33, secondary school], Ding [36, secondary school] and Alice [38, primary school], already had their family-owned snack bars, while others, such as Xin [28, secondary school, housewife] and Yu [27, MBO, housewife], were looking for opportunities at the time the interviews were being conducted. A job in the catering industry was still what they strived for, even in the case of having a diploma from the Netherlands such as Yu. They envisioned a future for themselves and their children in the Netherlands and felt they had already adapted to the new cultural environment, as is evident in the following:

Yu: … We planned to have a snack bar, but my husband wants a Sushi shop now. I think it [to go back to China] would be hard for me, since it would be difficult to adapt to that environment again; so does my husband. … They [her two children] will grow up here; all of us [parents of participant and her husband] are already here [in Europe]. … it’s a free country.

Migration history of highly skilled immigrants: career and globally oriented migration

Wen [35, Master, college teacher]: I became a middle school teacher after graduating from college in China. After working for four years, I felt empty and wanted to study again; I didn’t want to be a school teacher anymore. So I came to the Netherlands, changed my subject to business, and studied from the beginning again …

Highly skilled immigrants dramatically differed from the low-skilled immigrants in their accounts of migration. Although there is a tremendous variety in terms of their hometowns, most of them came from urban areas, particularly from eastern China. Some regarded their family environment as ‘equal’, ‘democratic’ and ‘open’, suggesting contact with Western family values.

They received a good education, and all had at least a college degree before they migrated. Overall, their incentive to study abroad was to pursue an educational opportunity that offered a higher level of career development in the future, or to make a change in their life, as in the example above (Wen). Their choice of destination did not depend on where they had relatives or acquaintances, but was primarily defined by where they could obtain the education and find opportunities they wanted. Most of them reported that they had not planned to stay permanently in the Netherlands when they first arrived. However, after finishing their studies, they chose to stay because of marriage or a work opportunity. When talking about settling down in the Netherlands, the highly skilled immigrant mothers tended to emphasize their individual development, well-being and quality of life, rather than the future of their children:

Huang [34, PhD, Computer Scientist]: To a small family with a child, at least to my own family, I would be sure firstly that I am happy here [in the Netherlands] then I would choose to stay; the child should follow me. She will be happy if I am happy … I will not stay and sacrifice my own goals. … I think if you abandon all you have already [learnt] and do something totally irrelevant … it’s not what I want … If it’s not interesting anymore here, I don’t mind leaving.

The participants in this group often expressed the potential temporality of their settlement. If there were good opportunities, they would gladly move to other countries or return to China. Huang, for instance, said that her choice of destination depended on her own and her husband’s career opportunities. He [32, Master, logistics manager] and Alex [35, Master, industrial manufacturer] both indicated that their family might return to China even though they had Dutch husbands. Tian [33, Master, financial analyst] and her husband preferred to migrate to Singapore because it is a country strongly influenced by Chinese culture and also open to the entire world. Another concern frequently mentioned was their parents’ aging. Most participants in this group were from single-child families and were therefore concerned that within a few years their aging parents might need them to provide support.

Ethnotheories of low-skilled immigrants: ‘bounded grazing’ and traditional hierarchy

The low-skilled immigrants’ ethnotheories can best be described as entailing a ‘laissez-faire’ parenting style with certain boundaries. This style is sometimes compared to a shepherd’s work of letting herds graze in certain grasslands, as the animals can move freely and eat as long as they are in sight and safe. In Zhen’s words [36, college, international business], she does not have time to learn or to read books on the subject of childrearing, or to watch television to learn any ‘good ideas’. She sets a ‘big frame (behavioural boundary)’ or ‘baseline’ for her 9-year-old son, which contains only a few general rules such as ‘not to break furnishing and ‘not to be involved in dangerous activities’ and ‘as long as he behaves within this big frame, he can do anything he wants, and he knows what to do, it is all fine’. When her 3-year-old daughter is back from kindergarten, she ‘plays (as much and as long) as she wishes’. In addition, the low-skilled immigrants spent little time playing with their children, and were relatively permissive, which was also at least partly due to time and energy they spent on their business, as the example of Ting [32, secondary school, snack bar owner] shows.

Ting:

So I think I need to spend more time on them. But you know what? Most Chinese who are working in restaurants really have very little time for children! This is a huge problem!

I:

Is it because of the time arrangement in the catering industry? When other people finish work and go home, this is the busiest time for you!

Ting:

Exactly. We just start to be busy. So in the evening we cannot accompany the children to … I mean, [we] rarely do something together. Fortunately, my father is here to help me all the time and we have a babysitter …

I:

What do they do during other leisure times?

Ting:

They can play by themselves.

The low-skilled immigrant mothers often emphasized certain values or moral aspects of raising children that can be related to Confucianism, as in the example below:

Xin [28, secondary school, housewife]: The most important thing is to be a good person! . Virtue, I mean. For example, open mindedness, willingness to help and kindness … these are big words, but I really think so. We say, ‘to be a human being first and then start to do things [business].

In comparison with the highly skilled immigrants, the low-skilled immigrant mothers in this group more often, and on a regular basis, tended to ask a relative or a babysitter to help them take care of the children (five of the participants did this). However, it does not always satisfy them. For instance, Yu (27, MBO, housewife) complained that she could not find a suitable person to take care of her two very young children when her father had to return to work and the previous babysitter from another area of China was too lazy and careless; so she resigned from her job in a restaurant and became a housewife.

Furthermore, the low-skilled immigrants were careful in choosing and organizing extracurricular activities for their children. Most parents seem to be rather prescriptive in this, rather choosing these activities based on the personal or idiosyncratic characteristics of their children, or the child’s wishes, as the highly skilled immigrants tend to do. For example, Xin chose swimming lessons for her daughter because ‘it seems here in the Netherlands everybody should have at least one [swimming] diploma, so we went for it’. Similarly, Ting [32, secondary school, snack bar owner] relied on certain standards when she chose a music class and a sport for her eldest son:

Ting: I’ve got him to swimming. I hope he can have both civil and military knowledge; as to why I chose Thai boxing [karate] for him; you know boys … [I think as a boy] he should be more masculine … And football too. But the time for football clashes with the time for swimming. So now I am still considering football.

In line with this relative ‘prescriptive’ strategy, the low-skilled immigrants generally valued respect and acknowledgement of their authority by their children, in keeping with the notion of ‘xiao’ as explained in the introduction. This is illustrated in the example below, in which the interviewer asked how Xin would feel if her child treated her in the way Dutch children treat their parents, meaning in a relationship of equals. Xin replied:

‘Ha, ha, ha, no way! It must be … not good … I don’t say that ‘you MUST do this and that’, but…they [the children] know … they will listen.

The confidence Xin shows in her own strategy, as opposed to the ‘Dutch way’, which they consider too informal and permissive, is illustrative for the parental ethnotheories of this group. They consider it important that children acknowledge their authority as a parent, and consider it their responsibility to make sure the child’s education is in line with certain social norms and expectations (such as gender norms or moral norms as was illustrated in the examples).

Ethnotheories of highly skilled immigrants: conscious cultivation and equal relationships

In contrast to the low-skilled immigrants, the highly skilled immigrants explicitly emphasized the value of spending time with their children and designed a rather diverse range of activities for them, both tailored to what they thought were the needs of their children and the goals they had for their development. They read books to their children (seven of them mentioned that they did this regularly), played with their children and organized special outings. Their accounts indicate an attitude of ‘conscious cultivation’ of their child’s development. For example, He [32, Master, logistics manager] organized nature-related activities with her child to cultivate certain values.

He: Every weekend, we take her to swimming; every Tuesday, when I have a day off, I take her to the library … basically, every two weeks. … Then we often go to the ‘kinderboerderij’, which is a farm especially designed for children that has many small animals. Her birthday, for sure we celebrate, we go to the zoo or … but for the first birthday we went to a national park. For her second birthday, we decided to go to the zoo, as my parents came to visit. The six of us took her to the zoo. She likes animals. I think children should grow up accompanied by animals instead of being afraid of them. … We go out to pick up rubbish. Yes, for environmental protection. When she sees rubbish on the ground outside, I’ll let her go and throw it in the rubbish bin. I think it can also stimulate her to think of others and the public …

In addition, the highly skilled immigrants seemed relatively strict, which seems to work well with their strategy of ‘carefully cultivating’, as in the following example:

Andy [33, PhD, engineer]: I don’t think we have special discipline, but we are strict. For example, he [the child] has to go to bed before 8.30 p.m., never later than that; he has to eat by himself and nobody feeds him. So you can say we have rules, but we are still tender; we never shout at him … we want him to make decisions by himself even about very little things, such as how many biscuits he wants to have, he has to decide by himself. But he has to wash his hands before touching food, because I want him to do so, while he doesn’t. So, you can say that he is not totally free.

We also noted that the highly skilled immigrant mothers explicitly emphasized certain values that guided their parenting, such as independence, self-determination and the emotional management of their children, which are quite different from traditional Chinese parenting ideas, both in content and in their explicitness, but they also varied within this group. For example, Tian [33, Master, financial analyst] insisted that her children should sleep alone; Melina [32, Master, computer scientist] was against the idea that parents had a right to smack children; and Huang [34, PhD, computer scientist] believed her child had the freedom to choose at a very young age. These ‘child-centred’ values also were salient in how the highly skilled immigrant mothers arranged activities for their children as they believed these activities are what the children need in order to develop well. For instance, as in the example above, Andy thinks it is important that her son has a certain independence when making his own decisions, which clearly points at child-centredness in her parental ethnotheory. At the same time, she makes sure that the eating arrangements she sets up for him correspond with this idea, by having him decide how many biscuits he eats. However, Qing [31, Master, housewife] disapproves of the idea that children can get whatever they want as she stresses that ‘toys are not always the more the better (as her child wishes)’, because ‘children need to learn to focus on one thing at a time which is better than becoming a decidophobia in future’.

The highly skilled immigrants especially emphasized transparency between parents and children more often than low-skilled immigrants. In the group of low-skilled immigrants, only Xin mentioned that she wanted to be the kind of mother with whom her child could talk about everything. In the group of highly skilled immigrants, 16 expressed this wish, of which the following examples are representative:

Andy:

Our baby sometimes calls me AD [Andy’s name] and calls him XD [husband’s name] directly! (laugh) . But we don’t mind. I think in many respects we know more than him, but it doesn’t mean that our relationship should be like the one between our parents and us, a very clear hierarchy … All of us are free, nobody should depend on anybody else.

Huang:

She tipped the glass of water over again and again. I told her, if she did it again, I would throw her glass away, as I thought she had gone too far, as if she did it on purpose. Then the child [still a toddler] asked me ‘if you tip your glass over, will you do the same?’ I said ‘yes, do you think it’s fair enough?’ She said ‘yes, deal’. I was very happy she asked that question, because she thought we should be equal.

So, in terms of parental authority, a subtle but clear contrast between both groups was apparent. Although in both cases clear rules were emphasized, the highly skilled immigrants stressed the dignity of the child, and the equality of the relationship between children and parents. They even expressed their own struggle with not interfering too much with their child as Nan [31, Master, housewife] did when she said that ‘[when she was buying clothes for her children] the clothes they fancy are too ugly…anyways they are the people going to wear it; so I have to control my inclination to dictatorship (laughs)’. However, the low-skilled immigrants emphasized the importance of a certain distance, in which obedience (listening, paying respect) is key.

Another idea about the relationship between parents and children identified by highly skilled immigrants was that of being close, as illustrated in the example below. Interestingly, here the contrast to Dutch parenting is different from the contrast expressed by the low-skilled immigrants:

Qing [31, Master, housewife]: I don’t expect my child to support me [financially] when I am old or do something like that. But we hope our relationship will be a closer compared to that in the Dutch families here … It’s hard to accept that children go to visit parents only once a week or even less. And to visit means just to sit for a while. My Dutch neighbours’ parents sometimes come to visit them; every time they leave at around four or five o’clock, even without having dinner, which is unbelievable.

So, in terms of closeness both groups express a different contrast with Dutch parents. While the low-skilled immigrants stress the importance of a stricter relationship (implying a certain kind of distance) than compared to Dutch parents, the highly skilled immigrants stress the importance of an emotionally closer relationship.

Low-skilled immigrants’ aspirations in relation to formal education

The low-skilled immigrants, who mostly described their own schooling as a ‘failure’, tended to emphasize the practical value of education. They hoped their children ‘[could] learn more useful skills, not study too hard, and be flexible’. Tong [35, college, international business] said she ‘even [hoped] children [would] not study so hard and thus not be too rigid’. They valued personality characteristics, such as flexibility, courage and goodness, more than scholastic achievement.

Xin [28, secondary school, housewife]: Of course, I hope he does well with his study (laugh). This is the hope shared by parents all around the world. We try to educate them … I hope [they can] graduate from university, even get a PhD, all that we will support. … And the most important thing is to be a good person!

However, they did not communicate with the school very much, due to the language barrier as well as time limitations. When talking about their expectations and aspirations in relation to their children, the mothers from this group wanted their children to leave the traditional sectors in which Chinese immigrants worked. According to them, the way to attain this goal was through formal education.

Yu [27, MBO, housewife]: The Netherlands is a free country, they can choose to do whatever they want, but not to do bad things … but it’s better not to be in the kitchen like we are. And then [I hope they can have] a stable job … not in the kitchen [Chinese restaurant] anymore. Chinese people always work in the kitchen! [It’s bad that] some graduated from university and then come back to their parents’ restaurant continuously! One generation should be better than the previous one. … At least they should be better than me, I only have an MBO [a type of vocational training in the Netherlands]; their father is [educated] even less than me … [Do I hope they can be educated at] university level? Maybe … all parents think the same, of course!

Highly skilled immigrants’ aspirations in relation to formal education

All of the highly skilled immigrants were ‘winners’ in the competitive schooling environment in China. Their reward was the opportunity to attain a relatively good socio-economic status after graduation, and to study at universities abroad which were of higher quality than those at home.

If we look at how they saw the role of formal education for their children, it becomes clear that they value it. The participants in this group were also actively involved in formal schooling of their children, and took great pains to make their children comfortable at school or to help them with their school work. As in the example of Melina, this sometimes also included learning Dutch:

Melina [32, Master, computer scientist]: … I went to her kindergarten to borrow their CD … and copied it. So, at home I could play it for her, too. She was surprised to hear it for the first time (laugh). I also taught her some Dutch songs and danced with her; of course, I had to learn to sing first, although it was hard for me (laugh) … I hoped she could get along well with the other kids. So, I went with her [to the kindergarten] and played with them. First, I tried to remember all their names … and gradually those kids became familiar with me and became friendly; and they were good to my daughter, too!

In contrast to the low-skilled group, the highly skilled immigrants paid much attention to the choice of school for their children. Five out of six who had at least one school-aged child emphasized that they had thought a lot about the decision. Many aspects, including educational philosophy, facilities and reputation, were assessed, as in the following example of Wen [35, Master, college teacher]. Interestingly, the example also shows how parents were often critical of the competitive schooling system back in China, and that they hoped that their children would not have to face this pressure caused by schooling. At the time of the interview, Wen had just registered her 1-year-old son for a school:

Wen: We chose a school with a new teaching style and educational theory … children make a plan for the whole day, study in the morning, and follow their own plan for the rest of that day; if someone is outstanding in a certain subject, for example, Math, he/she can jump to a higher level [in this particular subject] … His father was very clever when he was little, so he always felt bored when he mastered everything. I think in this way [the chosen school] respects the free development of children. … I was a teacher at a very good secondary school in China for four years; I was under huge pressure, as well as the students. … It’s a pity. … Anyway, I don’t have expectations about how much he will learn; the most important thing to me is that he has a happy childhood.

Thus, although these parents were the product of competitive and selective schooling ideologies, they had open expectations for their children’s future. Instead of scholastic achievement, the highly skilled immigrants resolutely concentrated on other non-material development goals. For example, Liu, Meilina and Wen all encouraged their children to make decisions for themselves and stimulated them to develop interests when choosing extracurricular activities. In addition, others emphasized positive development, including health (e.g. Andy), personality (e.g. Tian) and emotional well-being (e.g. He). In summary, rather than focusing on high expectations regarding their children’s academic achievement, they focused on their self-realization.

Conclusion and discussion

In order to discuss the results in the light of the theoretical issues raised above, we would like to focus on the following questions: (1) How can we understand the differences in parental ethnotheories between the two groups of Chinese immigrants given their ‘migration histories’? (2) How can we think about these changes broadly, in relation to notions of modernization?

Parental ethnotheories in the light of their migration trajectory

The study revealed substantial differences between both groups in respect of parental ethnotheories: While the highly skilled immigrants carefully and systematically shaped the development of their children by offering them the opportunity to try all sorts of activities to build their identities and skills, the low-skilled immigrants seemed less preoccupied with the idea of being personally responsible for their children’s development. The highly skilled immigrants considered care as a task for the nuclear family, while the low-skilled immigrants were happy to share the care for their children with others, also for reasons of convenience. The highly skilled immigrants valued open, equal and democratic parent–child relationships, while low-skilled immigrants pursued hierarchical relationships. Moreover, the parenting ethnotheories seemed more homogeneous for the low-skilled immigrants, while the highly skilled immigrants tended to build ‘unique’, individually motivated ideas on parenting, based on their reflections on their own childhoods and comparing different systems and ideas.

How can we understand such differences in the light of their migration histories and current realities post-migration? Since low-skilled Chinese immigrant mothers have an intense relationship with their pre- and post-migration communities, they tend to preserve certain parenting ideals associated with these communities. For example, their idea of a hierarchical parent–child relationship, often associated with Confucianism, resembles the idea of ‘xiao’ as described in the literature. In this view, parents are the absolute authority in the home and children should obey unconditionally (Ho, 1989; Hsiung, 2005). Moreover, their concrete and austere expectations of their children’s schooling can be read as a version of the role of education in Confucian philosophy, which still prevails in some of the rural areas in China. Meanwhile, their ‘loose’ style of parenting and the involvement of many others in the raising of their child seem to be primarily the result of their busy working lives, which does not allow them to invest much time in educating their children or spending time with them. However, it appears that they think they are able to afford this, as they have the opinion that children develop naturally, regardless of who takes care of them, in line with Taoism’s respect for the nature of the human being and the idea of letting things grow naturally. Thus, in this case, their economic circumstances almost oblige them to trust in this life philosophy, although not without some concerns. Their attitudes towards formal schooling and how they see the role of schooling in the upward mobility of their children make sense given their relatively unsuccessful education and difficult life pre- and post-migration. At the same time, Confucianism’s emphasis on the importance of education seems to support this attitude.

In contrast to the low-skilled immigrants, the highly skilled immigrants seem to be influenced by various cultural factors, both pre- and post-migration, one of which is Western middle-class parenting. In their parental ethnotheories, there were elements of Western ‘modern childhood’ as well as traditional Chinese values and ideas. In addition, there was more variation in their parental ethnotheories, which can be explained by a more varied range of cultural influences, both pre- and post-migration. Moreover, given their ample considerations of what is best, their parenting is more a product of carefully weighing the benefits of multiple parenting traditions. Their ideas express a combination of the Confucian notion of self-regulation and democratic principles so typical of Western parenting. Likewise, their attitude towards their children’s schooling clearly seems to be a product of both – their own academic experiences pre-migration (reconsidering the academic pressure and competition) and the influence of the Dutch educational system, which encourages children to develop their own interests, hobbies and characters. Their involvement in both schooling systems (in China as a student, and in the Netherlands as a parent) has put them in a unique position to weigh and select elements from both sides and has allowed them to be critical consumers of the Dutch system.

As shown above, both groups have access to certain cultural practices related to parenting and education that correspond with the fact that they were raised in different areas in China where different sub-cultures are dominant. However, in neither case is their parenting a ‘replica’ of their former practices pre-migration. After entering parenthood in the Netherlands, both groups access and utilise various parental philosophies as resources to structure and individualise their parental ethnotheories. Noticeably, both sub-groups’ choices of certain Dutch or Chinese parenting ideas and practices, and how they reform these ideas, are highly situated in what they have gone through pre- and post-migration. For instance, the fact that the low-skilled immigrant parents often involved extended families in child rearing may be associated with their certain ideals or convictions that they bring in from their pre-migration communities, and they clearly motivated by their heavy work schedules and the dense communities they have formed after settlement. Furthermore, the more individualistic, child-centred attitude of the high-skilled immigrant might be explained by their prior contact with child-centred ideologies in the urban centres in China, but it might be fostered further by the lack of extended family members in their case and the need to take full responsibility as a nuclear family for child rearing.

Different trajectories to ‘modern’ parenthood

As we argued, in both immigrant groups the parental ethnotheories are influenced by their respective migration (hi)stories. This statement has also consequences for how we look upon the notion of how immigrants adopt or relate to mainstream practices of parenthood, sometimes referred to as assimilation. It shows that both groups create different versions of what can be called modern parenthood, which clearly can be traced back to the communities and their ideologies they have had access to pre- and post-migration. Whereas the low-skilled immigrants came to the Netherlands with their parenting ideas relatively untouched by ‘Western’ ideologies, even if they have adopted other elements of a Western lifestyle, such as clothing and the use of certain technologies, in the case of the highly skilled immigrants, a confrontation of different ideologies had already started pre-migration. However, in both cases, what was ‘brought along’ was shaped further by the specific economic, social and cultural settings in which the process of dealing with this heritage occurred after migration. For example, the highly skilled immigrants prepared their children for various school and other skill-related activities, in line with how they were raised as a child. However, having experience of both schooling systems allowed them to rebel and resist some of the negative elements that the constant pressure to succeed brings with it.

The findings of the current study shed doubts on theories that imply that immigrants who come into contact with ‘modern’ notions of childhood and parenting will ultimately adopt these in their parenting. As we showed in the theory section, China has developed its own particular version of modern childhood, which is based on its specific traditional theories on both childhood and parenting. It is necessary to study what these ‘modernization’ processes mean in their particular contexts, and how they impact upon ideas on parenting and childhood. For example, the highly skilled immigrants, who mostly came from urban areas, adopted more child-centred ideas, not only because they had more access to Western ideology, but also due to the stricter population-control policy implemented in China’s cities compared to its villages (Cheung & Kwan, 2009). In addition, as we have argued, different subgroups have different degrees of access to ideologies and contexts of modernization. For example, the two groups’ ideologies on their children’s formal education were not only based on their own educational experiences, but were also highly related to the uneven distribution of Chinese public educational resources.

We hope to have shown how the study of migration processes is key to understanding particular cultural practices such as parenting. Pointing to the cultural dynamics typical for migration helps to demystify stereotypical cultural patterns, such as the image of the strict, authoritarian and demanding Chinese ‘tiger mother’. The various parenting practices employed by Chinese immigrant parents clearly are grounded in specific contexts and waves of migration, that are again also embedded in broader social transitions, which can only be explained by addressing the social, economic, geographic and cultural factors in combination.

Last but not least, a reflection on the impact of the researchers’ role in every stage of this qualitative research would provide a transparent accounting for readers about what was happening throughout the research process (Primeau, 2003). Firstly, the researchers have been fully aware of their similar educational level to the highly skilled immigrants that might have an impact on data collection. For instance, the similar language codes and expressions due to a similar background have most likely facilitated the mutual understanding between the two parties. In contrast, due to the unfamiliarity of some ways of speaking and particular idioms used by the lower skilled immigrants, it took more effort for the interviewer to explain and to understand during the interview. In order to account for this, the interviewer cross-questioned closely to unfold the untold information and to avoid misunderstanding. In addition, the interviewer (the first author), was considered an ‘expert’ and ‘assessor’ by some low-skilled interviewees, which might have generated more distance between them. To avoid such social expectations, the interviewer was intentionally modest and honest to gain their trust and to avoid socially desirable answers. Furthermore, due to the similar socio-economic status and access to Western ideologies, the researchers needed be very cautious when assessing the two groups’ cultural roots of certain parental practices. For instance, the researchers, as individuals, were more likely to identify and approve certain values held by the highly skilled immigrants than those held by the lower skilled immigrants. Therefore, during the data analysis, the researchers tried to keep an equal distance to the materials collected from both groups in order to judge both from a similar perspective refraining as much as possible from value judgements. In general, the researchers were aware of the subjectivity brought by their own position, self, interests and values during the research. We hope these reflections on the measures taken and attitudes held by the researchers can serve as signposts to the readers about the research process and their readings of our analyses, and give insight into the reflexivity of the researchers.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Lijie Zheng

Lijie Zheng is a PhD researcher in the Department of Educational and Pedagogical Sciences at Utrecht University, the Netherlands. Her PhD project investigates how Chinese immigrant parents in the Netherlands re-form their parenting under the context of Chinese global migration.

Mariëtte De Haan

Mariëtte de Haan holds an Endowed Chair on issues of Youth and Education in the multicultural society at Utrecht University. Her work focuses on cultural diversity and learning. She is interested in how learning practices are shaped and transformed by the wider conditions of the socio-cultural communities they are part of, in particular in how ‘old’ traditions transform through the contact of ‘new’ ones.

Willem Koops

Willem Koops, at present Emeritus University Professor at Utrecht University, has been a Professor of Developmental Psychology at multiple universities in the Netherlands and abroad. He published more than 60 (edited) books and special issues and over 300 papers in scientific journals. He is Fellow of the American Psychological Society, the Association for Psychological Science and of the International Society for the Study of Behavioural Development.