An autoethnography of an international English language teaching assistant’s identity paradoxes in an EFL context

Abstract

International teaching assistants (ITAs) often encounter challenges, and with the popularization of English medium instruction (EMI) in international higher education contexts, these problems are no longer restricted to English-speaking countries. Against this backdrop and drawing on the concept of identity paradox, the author presents an autoethnography of the identity construction of an ITA in Macau. Influenced by factors at four levels (individual, interpersonal, organizational, and societal), this autoethnographic narrative suggests that ITA identity construction can be a journey of continual reconciliation of various paradoxical identity categories as captured by three pairs of identity paradoxes: “mute English user” vs. “advanced English learner,” “mechanical teacher” vs. “divergent thinker,” and “struggling fighter” vs. “ambitious planner.” Based on the findings, a theory-informed discussion and implications for ITA training are included.

Keywords:

• Identity paradox
• international teaching assistant
• autoethnography
• Macau

Acknowledgements

Chengyuan would like to express gratitude to the editorial team and the three reviewers for their insightful comments on this autoethnography. Special thanks also go to Chunhong Liu, a PhD student at Simon Fraser University and Jessica Hill, an English language instructor at Arcadia University, who provided feedback on early versions of this manuscript.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Chengyuan Yu

Chengyuan Yu is a PhD candidate at Department of English, Faculty of Arts and Humanities, University of Macau. His major research interests include qualitative research in second language education, academic literacies and second language writing. E-mail: [email protected]