Why Does She Leave? The Leaving Process(es) of Battered Women

Abstract

In this article, the authors present the main findings from a qualitative study of processes undergone by women who have left abusive male partners. Three overlapping leaving processes are described: Breaking Up, Becoming Free, and Understanding. Breaking Up covers action (i.e., the physical breakup), and the turning point by which it is preceded or with which it coincides is analyzed. Becoming Free covers emotion and involves release from the strong emotional bond to the batterer, a process that entails four stages. Understanding covers cognition, and is a process in which the woman perceives and interprets what she has been subjected to as violence and herself as a battered woman.

Notes

The group interviews were conducted in collaboration with research assistant Christine Bender.

Marital status was not regarded as an important feature in this Swedish context. Cohabiting is such a widespread and accepted phenomenon in Sweden that the issue of whether or not to get married—although entailing some legal consequences—is primarily regarded as a matter of taste and personal choice.

The difference between themes and factors, as defined by us, can be illustrated by the following example: one or several women saying that “you should try to stick together for the children's sake” could be a theme, which in turn touches on two factors, i.e. nuclear family ideology (inhibiting) and children (inhibiting and facilitating).

With reference to the concept of traumatic bonding (Dutton & Painter, 1981).

See also Faver and Strand (2003).

Fleury et al. (2000) found that more than a third (36%) of 278 women who were studied during a two-year period after shelter stay/breakup were subjected to violence by their ex-partners. Furthermore, Mechanic et al. (2000) found that as many as 94% (n = 115) of women interviewed approximately six months after shelter stay/breakup were threatened by ex-partners.

This fear may, of course, be related to continuing threats and harassment from the abuser. However a woman's fear may apparently be just as strong and pervasive long after they have ceased. Hydén (1999, 2000) also found that post-separation fear was pervasive and long-lasting.

Parallels can be drawn here to what Kelly (1988) calls “the naming process,” and our findings, made more than ten years later and in another country, can therefore be said to confirm hers.

A comment on language is required here. Where English has a larger selection of terms, Swedish speakers mainly use the word “misshandel,” which means assault and battery. The word has been used to translate the English term “abuse,” which, however, has a broader meaning and is not as strongly connected to physical violence as the Swedish expression. One might ponder on the different possibilities this offers; while an English-speaking woman could claim that she is abused but not battered (or vice versa) a Swedish-speaking woman is either “misshandlad” or not.