I Love You, and You, and You Too

Abstract

Various types of consensual nonmonogamy, such as polyamory and swinging, have been gaining in popular practice and academic interest. At the same time, monogamy has become an increasingly fluid and self-defined state. As a result, a complex and unfamiliar range of relationship agreements can present in relationship therapy. For such work, transactional analysis has offered a limited theoretical framework, which leaves it with an unexamined normative bias toward monogamy and ignorance about consensual nonmonogamy. This leads to the risk of unconscious prejudice, unethical practice, and ineffective treatment. To address these potential problems, the forms of consensual nonmonogamy are described along with some implications for clinical practice, illustrated by a case vignette, and reflections on the impact of these issues for transactional analysis relationship therapists.

• Consensual nonmonogamy
• polyamory
• swinging
• relationship agreements
• relationship counseling

Notes

Declaration of Conflicting Interests The author declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding The author received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Robert van Tol

Author Biography

Robert van Tol, MSc (TA Counseling), PGDip (TA Psychotherapy), is a digital strategy consultant and psychotherapeutic counselor with a private practice specializing in relationship counseling. He runs the www.tastudent.org.uk website, which includes materials to help TA students, particularly a set of editable diagrams for those who cannot draw well. He can be contacted at 20 Wellington Park, Shirland, Alfreton, Derbyshire DE55 6EQ, United Kingdom; email: [email protected]