Recognition of Social Pain among Peers: Rethinking the Role of Bystanders in Bullying and Cyberbullying

ABSTRACT

Antibullying interventions that encourage bystanders to intervene have variable outcomes, some even associated with increased rates of bullying. In this article, I account for these challenges with a reconceptualization of the bystander role within an intersubjective field of traumatic enactment. Bystanders in adolescence and emerging adulthood can learn to play a crucial role in mitigating the traumatic effects of peer aggression by providing recognition of social pain from the unique vantage of peers—a role that parents, teachers, and clinicians must play with younger children. Two case examples demonstrate the need and potential for peers to provide empathic and accountable recognition.

KEYWORDS:

• bullying
• bystanders
• cyberbullying
• intersubjectivity
• trauma

Acknowledgements

Thank you to Ann Marie Garran and Caitlin Elsaesser for their generous invitation to present a portion of this article at the inaugural Community and School Violence Prevention Symposium at University of Connecticut School of Social Work in June 2016. The excellent questions and feedback I received there helped me to strengthen my analysis. I am also grateful to Dennis Miehls and the students in his neurobiology class at Smith, with whom I presented and discussed another version of this article in the summers of 2015 and 2016, and received thoughtful feedback that I was grateful to incorporate. Thank you to Kris Evans for helping me to better understand Benjamin’s work on recognition and to Stephen Vider for reading drafts at each stage. Finally, thank you to my dissertation committee—Dennis Miehls, James Drisko, and Faye Mishna—for their guidance and support on the empirical dissertation work I refer to in several places in this article.

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Notes on contributors

David S. Byers

David S. Byers, PhD, MSW, LICSW, recently completed his doctorate at Smith College School for Social Work. He is currently a Lecturer and Research Advisor in the MSW program at Smith, and a Lecturer at NYU Silver School of Social Work. He has written and lectured on group responses to bullying/cyberbullying, peer altruism, LGBT issues, international social work, and clinical diagnosis.