Intersubjective Discoveries on Parenting Autistic Sons: Challenges to Ableist, Normative Narratives of Deficit

Abstract

This article argues that the deficit-based narrative surrounding autism, shaped by the historical context, is often internalized as ableism and unconscious bias, leading to autistic masking and poor mental health. Parent-child relationships develop within the milieu of this narrative, impacting the scripts of both individuals. Drawing on their experience as mothers and therapists, the authors examine the relationship between themselves and their autistic children, the mutuality of their experience, and its impact on their cocreated script. Vignettes are included throughout to illustrate the points made. Models of disability, ableism, and the history of autism research and clinical practice are integrated with TA theory, including script and ego states. The work of autistic authors, in particular Milton’s ideas of the double empathy problem, is used to support readers to challenge their unconscious bias and create space for authentic autistic expression.

Keywords:

• Neurodiversity
• autism
• difference
• oppression
• parents
• double empathy
• power dynamics
• cocreated script

Disclosure statement

The authors declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Additional information

Funding

The authors received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Notes on contributors

Fionnuala Rupchand

Fionnuala Rupchand, a Certified Transactional Analyst (psychotherapy), works in Northern Ireland in private practice. She can be reached at Source Wellbeing Centre, 330-336 Beersbridge Rd., Belfast BT5 5DY, Ireland; email: [email protected].

Sonja Kormann

Sonja Kormann, a Certified Transactional Analyst (psychotherapy), works in the Southeast of England in private practice. She can be reached at H Meacher Wellness, Buckland House, Dower Mews, High Street, Berkhamsted, HP4 2BL, United Kingdom; email: [email protected].