A phenomenological study of romantic love for women in late life

ABSTRACT

Romantic love in late life is often beneficial, though not without challenges. Financial concerns and objections of adult children can interfere with a late-life individual’s decision to commit to a romantic relationship. In this study, the experience of romantic love for women who enter committed relationships in later life was examined. Fourteen women between the ages of 65 and 84 who had lived the experience of romantic love in late life were interviewed. By using Moustakas’s qualitative Transcendental Phenomenological method, several themes emerged to provide a description of the phenomena. These themes included openness to experience, attraction, commitment, adjournment, and generativity. According to the findings of this study, women in late life who form committed romantic love relationships negate the physical and emotional effects of loneliness brought about by bereavement or single status in late-life women. In addition, this study found these women were attracted to partners to fulfill their needs for love, esteem, spiritual connection, and self-actualization.

KEYWORDS:

• Late life
• Moustakas
• phenomenology
• romantic love
• women

Introduction

The most recent statistics available on the aging population (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2014) revealed that 46.2 million adults 65 years and older represented 14.5% of the population of the United States. This same report estimates that by 2060 this population will double, increasing to 98 million. Life expectancy for men has increased to 84.3 years and for women to 86.6 years (Social Security Administration, 2016). The report estimates that 25% of those who are 65 years of age today will live past the age of 90, and 10% will live past 95. Women are significantly more likely to be single in these longer lives (Harper, Schaalje, & Sandberg, 2000). In 2015, widowers were only 12% of the population of older adult men compared to 34% of older widowed women (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2015). This same report stated that 70% of older men were married, but only 45% of older women were married, leaving 55% of older women to cope with being alone. Women in later life, having lost a spouse, experience isolation coupled with shrinking social horizons. Marital losses place women more than three times as likely as men to be alone after age 65, creating greater risk for depression due to loneliness (Segal, 2013).

The greatest predictor of psychological distress in the elderly population is loneliness (Honigh-de Vlaming, Haveman-Nies, Heinrich, van’t Veer, & de Groot, 2013; Paul, Ayis, & Ebrahim, 2006). Loneliness is positively correlated with cognitive decline, decreased life satisfaction (Gow, Pattie, Whiteman, Whalley, & Deary, 2007; Yıldız, 2016), and increased health risks (Sorkin, Rook, & Lu, 2002). Thus, loneliness impacts both the morbidity and mortality rates in later life, with women being at highest risk.

Positive factors

In a classic study on the correlation of late-life relationships to life satisfaction, Grau and Susser (1989) confirmed a significant increase in life satisfaction for widows with emotional bonds to socially supportive family and friends. Another study (Pinquart & Sörensen, 2001) found that the social support of close peer companionship was correlated with decreased loneliness, increasing life satisfaction, and well-being. More recent studies have corroborated this, indicating that a decrease in depression and an increase in well-being is significantly impacted by the presence of social networks in the lives of older adults (Golden et al., 2009). Thus, the benefit of companions sharing a similar worldview, cohorts with similar historical cultural contexts, may assist in combatting the despair of loneliness that Erikson (1980) asserted may accompany old age (Hawkley & Cacioppo, 2010; Shaw, Gullifer, & Shaw, 2014).

Studies of sexuality and aging in older adults who enjoyed the benefits of sexuality throughout their lives (Laumann et al., 2006; Thomas, Hess, & Thurston, 2015) supported the idea that continuing active sex lives into later life contributed to quality of life and increased life satisfaction. From a classic study (Bergström-Walan & Nielsen, 1990) to a recent examination of aging Iranian women (Ravanipour, Gharibi, & Gharibi, 2013), it is apparent that sexual interest in older adults remains a vital part of relationships. In older adults, in these studies, sexuality remained a part of human experience into older years regardless of gender or religious affirmations. A total of 61% of the total sample in one study (Bergström-Walan & Nielsen, 1990) reported regular expressions of sexuality through intercourse, mutual sexual stimulation, or masturbation, though there was a decrease in sexual activity for the old-old of 75–80 years of age.

Due to transitions in marital status and declining health, sexual interactions expressed through intercourse might decline in later life (Camacho & Reyes-Ortiz, 2005; Harmsen et al., 2016). However, those who remarried in later life often shifted focus from intercourse as the primary form of sexual intimacy with their partners to expressing sexuality through physical closeness, affections, and mutual sexual stimulation. Older women assigned more importance to companionship and intimacy, stressing that intercourse was not the only method to express passion and love (Clarke, 2006).

Negative factors

Although it may appear obvious that entering into a romantic relationship in late life would help to combat isolation, loneliness, and the negative impacts these have on widowed women, there are barriers to these relationships. Seniors engaging in love relationships are often the victims of ageist attitudes echoed in comedic references about “senior sex” (Barusch, 2008). Avoiding ridicule, older adults may self-suppress needs for, or expressions of, new romantic relationships. Perceived cultural norms often stigmatize the older adult who would engage in sexuality and intimacy (Achenbaum, 2015; Goffman, 1963). Ageist attitudes have been acknowledged in studies as early as the seminal work of Tuckman and Lorge (1953) decrying the lack of appreciation for elders in favor of the youth culture of the day. Ageist attitudes about attractivity, so closely associated with the marriage market theory (Oppenheimer, 1988), also influence the reticence of older adults to initiate intimate relationships (Achenbaum, 2015; Barusch, 2008).

Additionally, adult children of aging parents embarking on late-life partnering may be vocal opponents of marital relationships or even open companionship with significant others. These new partners may threaten the family members’ financial status with their aging parent or perceptions of emotional importance in their parents’ lives (Barusch, 2008). According to Langer (2009), the complex contexts for the older adults, including differences in cultures, ethnicity, religious beliefs, age, gender, gender identity, and sexual orientation, contribute to how older adults are able to conceptualize or actualize needs for intimacy and sexual expression. Older adults, seeking new late-life romance, overcoming contextual and cultural obstacles, encounter further challenges. The prospect of looking for love, defining or redefining sexuality, forming commitment, and facing renewed loss discourage some from making forays into the search for intimacy (Langer, 2009).

Seeking a committed relationship can be a challenge for older adults. These challenges include how to meet suitable partners, how to date in the 21st century, how to make commitments, and how to maintain commitments begun in late life (Bieńko, 2015). While Internet dating increases the possibility of meeting potential mates (Barusch, 2008), older adults often prefer to meet potential partners through friends, family, social groups, church activities, and volunteer opportunities.

Once a potential partner has been found, aging adults choose from a variety of commitment arrangements including marriage, live-in relationships without marriage, or even living apart from one another (Barusch, 2008; Bieńko, 2015). A number of factors determine the nature of commitment in these relationships such as financial concerns, opinions of adult children and grandchildren, partner histories, cultural and religious norms, personalities, and end-of-life arrangements. Many older adults emerge from the death of a previous partner that included extended caregiving responsibilities (Vitaliano, Murphy, Young, Echeverria, & Borson, 2011). In order to reengage with new partners, aging adults must face the real possibility of future caregiving for a new spouse with whom they may share only a brief history (Mancini & Bonanno, 2006).

Further, blending two lives filled with histories, memories, memorabilia, habits, and behaviors requires concerted and conscious effort involving stressful choices and careful compromises. One study (Harper et al., 2000) reported results from a sample of husbands and wives ranging in age from 55 to 75 years who married late in life. The study examined stressors in late-life marriages and the impact on marital quality. Supporting the intimate needs of older committed adults offering suggestions to meet these challenges, the study reported physical intimacy as an ameliorating factor for daily stress in these marriages. The study indicated that late-life marital stress, as in younger relationships, may be offset by thoughtful engagement in physical intimacy, providing the bondedness essential for life satisfaction in later life (Grau & Susser, 1989; Stovall & Baker, 2010).

Although the population of older, single women is far greater than the population of older, single men, the experience of late-life love with a focus on the experiences of older women is lacking in the psychological literature. This study targeted older women’s lived experiences of romantic love in late life. Filling the gap in the literature on this population and the phenomenon of romantic love in late life will provide information to researchers, mental health professionals, caregivers, community service directors, health professionals, clergy, family members, and communities. This research gives voice to these women and their lived experience of late-life romantic love.

Methods

Qualitative phenomenology

This research employed the methods of transcendental phenomenology supported by Moustakas (1994) to increase understanding of the phenomenon of romantic love. The study narrowed the focus, asking the question: “What is the experience of romantic love for women who enter committed relationships in later life?” This research closed a gap in the literature for the specific population of older women between the ages of 65 and 84 and their lived experiences of new romantic loves. As narrative inquiry, it contributes to psychological practice, research, and education and stimulates conceptual, procedural, strategic, and metacognitive scaffolding for theories such as Erikson’s generativity (Erikson, 2004). Information gained from this study may also contribute to sociological theories on aging, gerontological research, and feminist theory. Additionally, transferability of these descriptions offers insight to caregivers, family members, and institutions serving the senior population. These results may offer suggestions for methods of ameliorating loneliness and isolation, frequently encountered by aging single women, offering supportive environments to engage in meaningful later-life romantic relationships.

Defining later-life woman for this study was based on a review of literature in developmental psychology (Baltes & Smith, 1997; Klumb & Baltes, 2004; Lindenberger & Baltes, 1997; Lodge & Umberson, 2012; Röcke & Lachman, 2008; Zimprich, Allemand, & Lachman, 2012), including the American Psychological Association’s identification of old age as those 65 years and older. The writing of Freund and Smith (1999) defined old as 65+ with the very old as those 85 years and older; therefore, this study limited the age range for older adult woman to 65–84 years of age. This study limited participants to older women who self-identified commitment status as sharing a home with these later-life partners, regardless of marital status.

Purposeful sampling is typically used for qualitative research seeking information and descriptive rich data (Patton, 2014). As implied, the 14 participants were selected purposefully to supply that data, rather than in a quantitative study where statistical probability and generalization rely upon sampling techniques to ensure that participants are drawn randomly, controlling for selection bias. The deliberate focus used for this qualitative study required that participants, having experienced the phenomenon, be older women, as this population is underrepresented in the literature on late-life romantic love and committed new relationships. Therefore, the researcher purposefully sought an appropriate sample to examine this lived experience drawn from the population that meets the criteria of being an older woman who has experienced new romantic love in later life leading to a self-identified committed relationship.

Participants were recruited by targeting locations and institutions addressing the needs and concerns of senior citizens, as well as by senior or retirement newsletters. A recruitment flyer was sent to senior centers in the community as well as churches, assisted living facilities, senior online bulletin boards, and educational institutions. The primary researcher contacted professionals who specifically address the needs, concerns, and social activities for older adults in order to offer the flyer information and recruit older women with the criteria set forth for participation in this study. The researcher’s contact information was provided so potential participants were able to contact the researcher directly.

The next step was for potential participants to make phone contact with the researcher. A brief initial conversation was conducted to determine the participant’s eligibility for the study. If the participant met the eligibility criteria, an appointment was scheduled for the interview. The interviews were 60 to 90 minutes in length. The interviews were conducted in private settings where the confidentiality of the participants was assured. Private meeting locations, such as rooms in local libraries or private rooms in senior centers, were scheduled based on convenience and preferences of the participants. The interviews took place in settings where the participants felt comfortable. All of the interviews were audio recorded and transcribed later.

Data analysis

Moustakas’s (1994) method of phenomenological data analysis was employed in this study. The initial process was to apply epoche. In this step, the research “brackets” preconceptions or personal views of the phenomenon in order to focus more clearly on the experiences of the participants (Moustakas, 1994). The next step was phenomenological reduction. Reduction is not the goal but rather serves as the vehicle that transports the analysis toward the end goal (Merleau-Ponty, 1964).

The final process was synthesis. Here, the researcher employed the processes of immersion, incubation, and illumination to synthesize all the composite textural and structural descriptions, imagining various truths about the essential meaning of this experience for all of these women. The researcher considered the descriptions of the experience with these 14 women, as well as descriptions of the experience from the literature and personal encounters with the experience in order to set apart this experience specific to these 14 women. Patton (2014) described this phase:

Critical textures and structures are revealed so that the experience is known in all of its essential parameters. The experience takes on a vividness and understanding grows. Themes and patterns emerge, forming clusters and parallels. New life and new visions appear along with new discoveries. (p. 487)

In order to form the essence, each of the combined textural-structural descriptions were integrated into the essence of the experience. Emerging gradually and painfully at times, as well as in epiphanal “aha” moments, the essences of the experience of this phenomenon, with this group of women, at these precise moments in time, evoked a description of one possible interpretation of romantic love in later life. Essentialism, the philosophy upon which the ontological position of essences is taken, asserts that there are necessary qualities in people or phenomenon, and without these qualities, the person or the experience would not be what it is (Husserl, 1970). This description, through the voices of these 14 women, who lived the experience, is the essence of the experience of romantic love in late life.

Findings

This study was conducted to gain a greater understanding of the experience of romantic love for women who enter committed relationships in late life. The study investigated the research question: “What is the experience of romantic love for women who enter committed relationships in late life?”

Openness to experience

Openness to experience was identified as a theme for each late-life woman. This theme has been defined as one of the Big 5 personality character traits (Costa & McCrae, 2008). People identified with this character trait display innate curiosity, allowing them to consider innovative and unique approaches to living, populate their futures with hope and positive possibilities, as well as find creative solutions to life challenges employing both emotional and cognitive responses to unique situations. One woman described dating again: “So I had friends that were on dating sites, and they convinced me this is the way to go; this is what everybody was doing.”

Another woman described her willingness to be open to the possibility of a new romantic relationship:

I think it was because I really did leave the door open a tiny bit, even though I was happy with what I was doing, I was fulfilled, I was moving and grooving for the Lord. But I didn’t want to shut that door if there was a possibility.

Yet another woman described her openness:

And we danced… . So here I am. Out there like a teenager, like an idiot … dancing… . And I’ve got a heart problem, and I figured I’ll probably die in a dance floor. But so what?

Openness to experience and unconventional methods for seeking a new relationship online included having a relationship criteria. One participant described her experience:

I had a check list, and they had—every box had to be checked or it was a “no go.”And, after that check list then it came to chemistry… . This is a full-time job; if you take it seriously, it’s a full-time job.

One of the requirements on the list was for her academic achievements to be respected. She stated:

He supports me so much and is so proud of me. And that was one of the questions I asked him, I am a doctor, he has a master’s degree, and I said, “Does that bother you?“ because it bothered a lot of men… . I said, “I worked too hard for it; if you can’t deal with it, you’re not the one.”

Attraction

Attraction was another theme that emerged for each of the late-life women. Attraction can be understood through the human motivations to satisfy needs such as physical safety, love/belongingness, esteem, and self-actualization. Maslow (2014) asserted that the healthy person does not search for fulfillment merely to satisfy needs in order to fill voids. All of the women in this study described attractions to new partners, including the subsequent needs for love, esteem, and self-actualization. It might be surmised that the physiological and primary safety needs were basically already met for these women, as descriptions of attraction to others included no references to physiological needs, and few referenced safety needs. Rather, all late-life participants described motivations to seek partners to fulfill needs such as love. One woman stated, “He loved everything about me. Everything! [He] used to tell me, ‘I love you from your toes to your head, and your head to your toes, and no part of your body I don’t like.’” Feeling attractive in late life also impacted the women’s self-esteem. This was described by one woman:

And I joked with a couple of my girlfriends—that our courtship—[husband] literally chased me, and I said, “It’s kind of nice, especially at our age, to feel attractive, to feel worthy of being chased.”

Another woman described attraction:

And I stood up, and I took my robe off, and I took my nightgown off, and I went, “Ta-da!”—just like, “Yeah, here I am, not a 20-year-old or something. If you are going to like me, you are going to like me just the way I am.”

Having a mutual attraction to one another made the late-life romantic relationship special, as described by one woman:

He was very good to me, and I was good to him. And we just went on so many cruises and so many trips. He enjoyed them, as much as I enjoyed them. I just felt right being with him. We both just hit it off, and I feel like this was God working through both of us because you have to have that chemistry. He was very caring. He just wanted to be close to me—hold my hand, take me to dinner. He told me, I don’t know how many times, he told me he loved me.

Commitment

In this study, the theme of commitment was present for each of the women. There was research interest in who makes these commitments in late life and how these commitments function. Actual commitments ranged from marriage to single and living together. Sharing a home was an inclusion criterion for participants in this study, as the researchers desired to gain insight into how couples blended their lives with long histories, acquired property and wealth, and preexisting family relationships. This study revealed commitment styles and maintenance of late-life relationships were largely dependent on finances and existing family relationships. One woman described her arrangements for living together:

So by the end of that week we went out to lunch… . I mean, within a week we were a couple… . Well, after about 5 years, we moved in together. He bought a house. I moved in from my rented townhouse. Well, we were engaged, he gave me a ring. Basically, he paid the mortgage. All the furniture was mine, and I bought all the food and paid all, the household, it’s about expenses… . And I saw it more, well, this is a good idea, you know, financially. I was happy. Okay, that’s it. I was happy. It was the first time in my life I’ve ever been someplace that I thought, yeah I could stay here!

The results of this study were similar to that of Burns and Burns (2000), in which “money and children are the two biggest factors preventing remarriage” (p. v). One woman described the conflict between her children and late-life husband:

And they liked [husband] in his younger years. They weren’t happy with him in his older years. He was a little controlling. And they—when they came to visit, he was jealous of my time with them. And he would show it. So, they didn’t feel comfortable being around us.

Some women based the decision to be in a romantic, committed, late-life relationship, without marriage on financial reasons. Preexisting pensions from deceased husbands would be placed at risk should they remarry. Some were concerned about the inheritance arrangements for adult children made prior to later relationships. Other women described the basis for their decision to remain single, ranging from previous losses to religious concerns: “And my reason was I had two husbands die on me, and I’ll be danged if I wanted the third one to die on me.” While another based her choice on religion, “His reason was he was divorced, and he was Catholic.”

The participants in this study described relationships in which open and honest shared communication was demonstrative of emotional closeness: “We can sit and discuss things on a high level, and we disagree on politics, but we talk about it and we both see each other’s point of view. We can listen to each other.” Other descriptions included the ability for partners to affirm their love through easy displays of verbal and physical affection: “Just everyday he will—a dozen times a day he will hug me and tell me he loves me… . Oh yes, he is a very expressive person… . I enjoy it.” The interviews did not include specific inquiries into sexual characteristics of the relationship, as it was expected that not all of the participants would be comfortable revealing this information. However, voluntary descriptions of active and satisfying sexual relationships offered insight into this aspect of later-life romantic love:

Yeah, we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. We didn’t want to be without each other; everything was like it should be and like it was when you are 16. So even at 71 or 68, that exciting feeling was still there.

Adjournment

Adjournment as a theme for this study is defined as an end to relationships. This end may have occurred in previous relationships, either by death or divorce, opening time and space for new experiences. Loss is inevitable with aging, including losses of prior relationships as well as the potential for loss with any new relationship. For all of the women in this study, entering into a later-life romance followed the adjournment of previous marriages. Although a prior marriage was not a criteria of this study, all the participants had been married at least once and were either divorced or widowed. All of the participants had experienced some form of grief involving the loss of love, whether by design or circumstance. Therefore, all the women shared an acute awareness of relationships as temporal and susceptible to termination. One late-life woman described her experience of adjournment:

One Friday afternoon, he said, “I need to talk with you.” … And he said, “Listen, this is just not going to work out. I think you need to find another place to live.” It was a huge shock. The last relationship left me with no interest in having another relationship… . I would say it really brought it to zero. I had no plans to have any other relationship… . I was cured… . It took me six years to even figure out what had happened. That you really can’t have the naïve optimism and spontaneity that you might have as a high school senior and trust in the guy next door to be who he seemed to be… . You cannot have blinders on in a late-life experience because—it’s a jungle out there.

However, each woman chose to love again: “I am more of a risk taker now. I would take a chance. When I was younger I might have felt that I would be devastated if somebody left me. But now, I figure, I will be okay.”

Some of the women experienced loss through the death of their late-life love. One women described her experience:

He died on me, a year ago. From the time we first started playing bridge, it would have been eight years. With hospice I’d get a lot of help, and I did. And so before they brought him home that day, they brought the hospital bed, wheelchair, and oxygen machine. And I took his hand, and he reached over, he took my hand … and just then his arm dropped down; he waited until I got there. And then that was it.

Another woman shared:

And he unfortunately got sick after quite a short time, about four and a half years after we met. And my son stayed with him all night long in the hospital, the first, a few nights there at the end because I was exhausted from this whole thing. And I’ve got a lot of friends down here … and lot of them have died already. I am losing friends like, going down the drain here. It’s really bad.

Generativity

Erikson (1985) defined generativity as the need to generate a legacy for others with an awareness of mortality. Erikson’s own end-of-life writings, which were collected by his daughter and published later (Erikson, 1997), expanded generativity into old age, thus developing a ninth stage of development, completing the life cycle. Chen (2009) explained that generativity in old age includes continuing to leave a legacy with children and grandchildren, avoiding stagnation, redemptive sequencing, and ego integrity. Chen stated:

Indeed, unlike midlife generativity that tends to be dominated by the parenting role, generativity in later life is often extended beyond the family, in the form of assistance to unrelated others and civic engagement… . All these trends suggest that generativity, a topic relatively missing in the gerontological literature, is an increasingly salient phenomenon in later life, beyond the theoretical assertion that humans are motivated to renascent the mortal self by leaving a legacy behind through constructing a better world. (p. 46)

For the women in this study, generative approaches to living were described as leaving instructive legacies, avoiding stagnation, maintaining ego integrity, and performing redemptive sequencing. Each of these characteristics of the generative adult (McAdams & Logan, 2004) were described as these participants making meaning of their histories to form hopeful futures. One woman stated, “And I turned out stronger, and now I have saved the best for last.” Another woman stated,

I think it is okay to be me, whoever I am. I have had to play roles. I’ve had to assume whatever it is in order to fit in, in order to do whatever in other relationships or other marriages. Now I feel like whatever I am, whoever I am is okay. And that is wonderful.

Another late-life woman stated,

I am willing to let go of some things that all my life were important to me, and you are older and you realize that what’s important and what isn’t important. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long, but better than not at all, better than not at all. It’s that you come to a place in time where you think, “This is me! Take it or leave it.” And so that’s a big chunk of being happy as now you are the person you want to be and you have found this other person who is the person you are meant to be with; how much happier could you possibly be? This is the person I should have always been with… . When they were having Woodstock, and we were just in a little town down the road and he was at Woodstock, and I said “I was right there; why didn’t you come for me?” So, there are pluses and minuses, but in this particular situation the pluses so far outweigh anything that I think I would have issue with.

Discussion

The research question for this study was: “What is the experience of romantic love for women who enter committed relationships in later life?” The five themes for the women interviewed that developed into the essence of the experience included Openness to Experience, Attraction, Commitment, Adjournment, and Generativity.

Openness to experience allowed for new opportunities that had not existed before. These possibilities included engaging in new behaviors and relationships that fulfilled the physiological, safety, belongingness/love, esteem, and self-actualization needs of these women. Attraction included being attracted to someone and that someone being attracted to them. This encompassed physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual acceptance of self as a late-life woman and the celebration of having a well-developed self-esteem that was achieved over time. While these women varied in cognitive-affective responses to attraction and the time needed to establish trust, all described feeling magnetically drawn into a relationship with an attractive other.

The women interviewed in this study made the choice to share a home, defining commitment as either married, or single and living together. Commitment decisions were based on financial, familial, and cultural considerations. Additionally, the decision to marry or remain single included financial considerations of adult children and inheritance expectations. Whether choosing to remain single or marry, they were comfortable with commitments based on unique financial, spiritual, or social needs.

While relationships adjourned throughout the lives of these women, they were able to progress through mourning, embrace new experiences, and even engage in newer later-life loves to again ameliorate the effects of loneliness. Some of these women experienced loss of the new love through death or the ending of the relationship. Yet, even so, being in a loving, committed relationship was described as a risk worth taking.

Generativity was described by the later-life women in this study as applying their wisdom gained in long and varied histories. They accomplished this through optimizing their physical and emotional attributes and compensating for losses of significant relationships and physical limitations. Advanced years provided a vantage point for these self-actualized women to view the past with self-acceptance and look to future horizons filled with hope through life-affirming choices. Choosing to grasp romance in later life and engaging in deep interpersonal relationships created time and space to apply lessons learned in past relationships to new loves. These women acknowledged needs, sought to satisfy those needs, and relinquished relationships not meeting those needs. There was little evidence for acquiescence of autonomy. Leaving legacies of wisdom to future generations of children and grandchildren, these women remained actively engaged with families, peers, communities, and even newer partners.

The implications of this study suggest that a greater understanding of romantic love in late life is important so that these relationships can be valued and seen as important to women in late life. This is valuable information for late-life women, their family members, clergy, social leaders, and medical and mental health professionals as they work with the late-life population. The phenomenon of late-life romantic love is markedly underrepresented in the existing psychological literature. These close attachments in late life may prevent loneliness by offering companionship, love, and intimacy. These meaningful romantic love relationships may assist late-life women in demonstrating emotionally healthier and more physically robust lifestyles.

Future research recommendations

Suggestions for future study on older women, late-life love, and commitment would include the relationships between women in late-life romance and factors such as commitment styles, financial status, ethnicity, educational level, marital histories, adult children, and spirituality. Studying the lived experiences of later-life lesbian women could also be informative. Finally, building on the studies of Josselson (1987), a longitudinal narrative study examining the personality development of baby boomer women into later life would offer insight into the durability of the life path trajectories, offering insight for maintaining intimacy throughout a woman’s life span and the “different pathways that women follow along the road to identity” (Josselson, 1987, p. 34).

Conclusion

In summary, this research study used a qualitative, phenomenological method to gain a greater understanding of the lived experience of romantic love in late life. The results identified five themes shared by each of the late-life women interviewed. These included Openness to Experience, Attraction, Commitment, Adjournment, and Generativity. Although not exhaustive in their scope, the identified themes reported were described as being part of the late-life romantic love experience.

The late-life women in this study continued to desire romantic relations that met their emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental needs. However, unlike their experience of romantic love in younger years, these women brought with them life experience, wisdom, and a greater sense of self. This allowed them to enter into a committed relationship that, although not without risk, could be fulfilling and allow them to continue to be open to new experiences, feel attractive and be attracted to someone, experience loss as a natural consequence of life, and pass on their lived experience to those who would listen. Gazing into the eyes of these women, the researcher often caught reflections of the dancing girls they once had been and still remained.

To our knowledge, no other study has explored the lived experiences of women and late-life love from a phenomenological perspective. We are hopeful that the information gained from this study can assist those invested in and working with late-life women. As the geriatric population increases, we offer an increased understanding of the importance of late-life romantic love for the women in this study and all those who are similar to them.