The widowed identity: identity transformations of the silent generation and the influence of time

ABSTRACT

Divorce and death of a husband are two life events that leave older women without a life partner. But they have very different impacts. In a divorce, an older woman goes through a legal and emotional process that results in an unambiguous identity as a single woman. But the death of a husband often leaves older women in an ambiguous situation where they are physically alone but still perceived – – by themselves and others – – as part of a couple. This may be especially true for older women, because their self-identities were forged in an era when a woman’s identity was subordinated to that of her husband. Additionally, while some women become widows suddenly, others experienced a prolonged dying process that gave them time to adjust to widowhood. In the latter case the older widow has more in common with her divorced counterpart, that is, she is more likely to have an unambiguous identity as a single woman.

KEYWORDS:

• Widow
• aging
• role-exit
• identity transformation
• hospice effect
• time to adjust

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank the women who shared their journey through life, love, and loss. I also want to thank Dr. Jennifer Dunn whose mentorship and friendship helped guide me through my own journey.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Notes

1. Diane Vaughan (1986) found that in the case of the uncoupling process apparent in divorce, partners disentangle their belongings and their identities. For those widows whose husbands are terminally ill, they must relieve their husbands of their responsibilities and duties, thus, I use this idea of disentangling belongings to understand the widows disentanglement of his parts of the partnership during the dying process.