‘I call it self-love now’: Indian Women’s Experiences of Self-Partnering

ABSTRACT

Coupledom, particularly marriage, is depicted as aspirational for women, but this article documents the experiences of Indian women who have resisted patriarchal norms around wedlock and who identify as ‘self-partnered’. In-depth interviews were conducted with 10 women between the ages of 25 and 69 living in various Indian cities. The article explores participants’ interpretations of self-partnering, the influences that led them to choose this identity, their experiences in past relationships, and their views on marriage and motherhood. The interviews were analysed through the interpretative phenomenological approach with reference to a feminist lens. The findings revealed that the participants considered self-partnering to be an act of self-reliance and personal fulfilment. Contrary to popular stereotypes, these women were neither phobic about relationships nor resistant to having a companion. Their choice was more about wanting to be with partners who could provide what they needed in a relationship. Parental support and financial independence were cited as factors that enabled self-partnering. The participants’ narratives revealed self-partnering to be much more than the reductive ideas associated with it. The study enriches the social-cultural critique of the evolution of social institutions such as marriage that have traditionally been embedded in patriarchy and heteronormativity.

KEYWORDS:

• Self-partnering
• marriage
• women
• India
• qualitative research

Acknowledgements

We are deeply grateful to the participants in this study for sharing their stories with us. We would also like to extend our gratitude to the reviewers and David Hundt. Their feedback played an important role in helping us enrich our writing.

Disclosure Statement

The authors report there are no competing interests to declare.