Sexual minority women and parenthood: Perceptions of friendship among childfree and new parents

Abstract

Many individuals experience shifts in their friendship networks after becoming parents. The current study investigated the narratives of how a sample of sixty-six sexual minority women, most of whom do not yet have children but who expect to be parents in the future, perceive the changes in friendship networks following becoming parents. A thematic analysis uncovered three themes: (1) general expectations surrounding future parenthood and friendships; (2) changes in lifestyle and priorities; and (3) LGBTQ + community attachment. Further, the theme of general expectations surrounding future parenthood and friendships was largely represented among lesbian and queer women, while the theme of changes in lifestyle and priorities was predominately represented among lesbian women, and finally, the theme of LGBTQ + community attachment was shared among all sexual minority women in our sample across different sexual identities. We discuss the diversity of shared and non-shared narratives among sexual minority women, the intentionality in how friendship during parenthood is perceived, as well as why some themes were particularly prevalent among women with specific sexual identities.

Keywords:

• LGBTQ + friendship
• lesbian women
• transition to parenthood

Notes

1 We calculated reliability using Cohen’s kappa, given dichotomous code data from two coders (final independent coder and first author; McHugh, 2012).

2 There were eight initial themes, which were collapsed into three overarching themes. The first seven were: No changes in future parenthood (k = 1.00), lifestyle or priority changes (k = .85), spending time with other parents (k = .73), dissonance (k = .74), acceptance by parents/community (k = .69), perceived cultural divide (k = .84), and activism (k = 1.00). The eighth theme, no changes in friendships because friends were also parents, was removed and recoded into the first overarching theme, general expectations surrounding future parenthood and friendships. This first theme also included spending time with other parents. The second theme, changes in lifestyles and priorities, included perceived cultural divide as well as lifestyle or priority changes. The final theme, LGBTQ + community attachment, included dissonance, acceptance by parents/community, and activism.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Kay A. Simon

Kay A. Simon , M.S., is a doctoral candidate at the University of Kentucky in the Department of Psychology. Their work focuses on LGBTQ + families, intended parenthood, identity development, and ambiguous loss.

Samantha L. Tornello

Samantha L. Tornello , Ph.D., is an Assistant Professor at Pennsylvania State University in the Human Development and Family Studies Department. The majority of her work has focused on the role of family composition, sexual orientation, and parental gender in the family system.

Henny M. W. Bos

Henny M. W. Bos , Ph.D., is full professor at the Research Institute of Child Development and Education, Faculty of Social and Behavioral Sciences, University of Amsterdam. Her research focuses on: (1) lesbian and gay parent families; (2) lesbian, gay, and bisexual identities; and (3) gender nonconforming individuals in relation to mental health.