‘Remote parenting’: parents’ perspectives on, and experiences of, home and preschool collaboration

ABSTRACT

This article explores parents’ perspectives on, and experiences of, home and preschool collaboration. The data consist of in-depth interviews with 10 parents with one or several children attending preschool. The research process of gathering and analyzing data follows the procedures of constructivist grounded theory. The results show how parents seek to practice ‘remote parenting’ in order to shoulder their parental responsibilities for their child’s well-being and care while they are away from their child. Parents approach situations they find difficult at preschool in different ways, including staying in the preschool and appreciating the collaboration with practitioners, working for change, coping with the situation, or changing preschools. Parents’ experiences of home and preschool collaboration differ in significant ways, and there is, therefore, a need to visualize and discuss norms and values that shape the conditions for parental collaboration. The results might be useful for stakeholders and policy-makers on different levels.

KEYWORDS:

• Home
• preschool
• collaboration
• care
• parenting

Introduction

In this article, attention is directed towards parents’ perspectives on, and experiences of, home and preschool collaboration in a Swedish context. The field of home and preschool collaboration is in many ways a difficult field to enter because it is characterized by contradictions in research, training, and practice. Parents’ experiences and the interaction between parents and staff are, for example, seen as a part of the quality of early childhood education (Urban et al. 2012), but parents are rarely included as participants in research (Larsen et al. 2012, 2013). Further, home and preschool collaboration has been reinforced in Swedish policy documents since the 1990s, but the subject is not significantly supported or focused on in teacher training. In practice, practitioners face demands from different directions when preschool administrators focus on developing and controlling measurable aspects of preschool quality while parents emphasize children’s well-being and safety (Tallberg Broman and Holmberg 2007). The contradictions mentioned above may mirror the changing tone regarding the purpose and values of early childhood education when economic, rather than political or ethical, concerns are stressed in education (Moss et al. 2016).

The views on parenting and parents’ role in children’s upbringing are also diverse, and researchers such as Gopnik (2016) and Gillies (2008) stress that parenting has become less of a relation and more like ‘a job requiring certain skills and expertise’ (1080). Gillies shows how a political focus might narrow the construct of ‘good parenting’ as caring aspects are reduced in favor of academic learning. In research, strategies for parents to support children’s academic learning at home have been brought forward (Siraj-Blatchford 2010). When strategies such as ‘concerted cultivation’ are emphasized, other ways for parents to facilitate children’s growth, e.g. emotionally or socially, become unrecognized by researchers and early childhood educators. Gillies (2008) stresses the importance for professionals and policy-makers to recognize that ‘good parenting’ is not only about supporting children’s academic learning, but also appreciating the varied and situated roles parents play in children’s upbringing. The importance of visualizing norms and values regarding parenting is highlighted by Lightfoot (2004) when arguing that the categorization of parents, e.g. into those who are resourceful and those who are not, makes it difficult for educators to see all parents as equal partners and contributors.

In Sweden, policy documents support a holistic view of the child and stress that preschool activities should be ‘designed so that care, socialisation and learning together form a coherent whole’ (Swedish National Agency of Education 2016, 4). In practice, however, when external demands on control and a striving for professional status are weighed in, the caring parts might become weakened in favor of the educational (Löfdahl and Péres Prieto 2009), and children’s play might be reduced in favor of academic learning (Tobin, Hsueh, and Karasawa 2009; Tobin, Arzubiaga, and Keys Adair 2013). Löfdahl and Péres Prieto (2009) argue that the Swedish model of providing educare, in which education and care are combined, might even be threatened when political ideas are implemented in early childhood education. When the focus is set on academic learning, goal fulfillment, and future academic achievements, activities relating to care tend to end up in the periphery.

Home and preschool collaboration: the Swedish context

In the Swedish national preschool curriculum (Swedish National Agency of Education 2016), parental collaboration is addressed in terms of relationships, influence, responsibilities, and support. The work team, regardless of professional status, should ‘show respect for parents and be responsible for developing good relationships’ (13) with the children’s families. The collaboration between home and preschool should further ‘take place in close and confidential co-operation with the home’ (13). The importance of ‘maintaining an on-going dialogue with the guardians’ (13) and to ‘take due account of parents’ viewpoints when planning and carrying out activities’ (13) is also highlighted in the curriculum. It is made clear that ‘the guardian is responsible for the child's upbringing and development’ (13), and this coincides with the wording in the Parental Code (1949:381) that states that the custodian not only has the right, but also the obligation, to decide on matters concerning the child (Ch.6, §11). The assignment of preschool workers includes helping families by supporting them ‘in their role of bringing up and helping their children to grow and develop’ (Swedish National Agency of Education 2016, 4). Preschool should supplement the home, and parents should have the opportunity to influence practice within the framework of the national goals. Information about preschool goals and practice is thus a prerequisite for parental influence.

The above formulations have been unchanged since preschool became a part of the Swedish education system and received its first curriculum in 1998. The context in which collaboration takes place has, however, changed in many respects during the past decades. Preschool, brought forward as ‘the foundation for lifelong learning’ (Swedish National Agency of Education 2016, 4), became general for 4- to 5-year-olds in 2003 and thus partly free of charge for parents. In 2010, general preschool came to include 3-year-olds as well. Preschool teachers received clarified responsibilities in the curriculum in 2010, and licensing requirements in 2011 reinforced their professional position. Academic subjects (science, math, technology, and language) were added to the curriculum in 2010. In 2008, a voucher system was introduced giving parents the possibility to choose between municipal preschools (80% of all preschools) and independent preschools (20% of all preschools). Today, the preschool system is facing some challenges, including an ‘alarming shortage’ (Swedish National Agency of Education 2015, 14) of qualified preschool teachers at the same time as the number of children enrolled in preschool activities has increased over the last decade. In 2016, 84% of all children between 1 and 5 years attended preschool (Swedish National Agency of Education 2017). A system of maximum fees and vouchers makes it possible for parents to choose between preschools operated in different ways. In 2012, the Swedish National Agency of Education (2013) conducted a survey among parents and found that preschool activities and care were largely consistent with parents’ wishes and needs. Parents were most satisfied with the aspects concerning security, activities being stimulating, opening hours, and the closeness to home.

Aim and research questions

The aim of this article was to explore parents’ perspectives on, and experiences of, collaborating with practitioners in their children’s preschool. The research questions in this study are how parents express the process of collaborating with preschool practitioners and how parents address their parental responsibilities at preschool.

Methodology

This study is based on the constructivist grounded theory (Charmaz 2014) when the intention is to conceptualize parents’ perspectives on, and experiences of, parental collaboration at preschool.

Participants

The results are based on qualitative interviews with 10 parents (9 women and 1 man) who had one or more children attending preschool activities. At the time of the study, the parents were between 29 and 48 years of age and had at least one child attending preschool. One of the participants could be considered a ‘professional parent’ because she provides foster care for children and also provides an emergency home for infants whose parents, for various reasons, are not able to care for their child. Some of the parents were still relatively new to their parenting role, while others had been parents for more than 20 years. The education level ranged from primary school to university. Four participants were first- or second-generation immigrants, and two of them had been living in Sweden for five years or less. Eight participants were married or lived in long-term relationships, and two were single mothers. All but one had chosen a municipal preschool for their child, but at least three of the participants had experienced independent preschools as well. The one participant who had not chosen a municipal preschool had chosen a preschool that is organized as a family cooperative. The sample included participants from both rural areas and cities.

Data gathering and analysis

In accordance with the constructivist grounded theory (Charmaz 2014), data gathering and analysis were conducted as a simultaneous and iterative process. The method adopted for this study was individual in-depth interviews that lasted between 45 and 60 minutes. All interviews were audio-recorded and transcribed verbatim. The initial approach was inductive when using open-ended questions to explore the participants’ main concerns when collaborating with preschool practitioners. As the study progressed, emerging topics were explored in subsequent interviews until saturation was reached. Theoretical sampling was employed to ensure variation and contradicting cases in the sample.

The transcripts were initially analyzed by word-by-word and line-by-line open coding when comparing incidents and by scrutinizing the words used in the interview and identifying processes. Questions and thoughts that the coding process generated were written as memos when striving to elaborate categories, study their relationships, and find gaps. Later in the process, coding became more focused when significant codes from previous codings were used in the analyzing process. The process consisted of constant comparisons, and the aim was to develop abstract analytic categories from the data.

Ethics

All participants gave informed consent before entering the study, and confidentiality has been maintained all through the study (Swedish Research Council 2011). The participants were informed that they were free to interrupt their participation at any time. None of the participants chose to do so.

Findings

In this study, parents sought to practice remote parenting, not in order to communicate with or to control or discipline their child, but in order to shoulder their parental responsibility for their child’s care and well-being when the child was not with them. Practitioners’ ability to indivisualize and individualize practice was reported to be important by the parents. Indivisualization includes practitioners informing parents about the child’s doings during the day, and individualization includes practitioners adapting routines or activities to meet the child’s individual needs.

The first choice

Parents’ first challenge is to find a preschool that suits their ideas about preschool practice and their children’s needs. They might receive information about preschools from different sources, including preschool heads, staff, other parents, friends, relatives, and websites. One parent explained that one must use ‘all the channels you have access to in order to create an image and get information’. The information received is a way to get a feeling for the preschool’s atmosphere and resources. Preschools that are struggling with recruiting and retaining staff are avoided because this is interpreted as a poor social environment that offers no continuity.

The second choice

When the child starts preschool, the parents seem to struggle to decide whether the chosen preschool meets their expectations and requirements. The second choice is, therefore, to decide whether to stay at the current preschool or leave it for another. This choice depends on (1) how content the child and/or the parent feels at the current preschool, (2) how the parent views the possibilities to influence practice in the desired direction, and (3) if there are any other preschools available within a reasonable distance. Depending on the above, parents use the following approaches to address the current situation: (1) stay and appreciate, (2) stay and work for a change, (3) stay and cope with the situation, or (4) change preschools.

The results show how parents might switch between the approaches depending on the current situation and how far in the future the next transition is. Parents might, for example, decide to stay and work for a change, but setbacks might cause them to give up the struggle and become more passive or even change preschools. The efforts might also lead to the desired change, or at least a dialogue that strengthens the parents’ trust regardless of the outcome, and parents then come to stay and appreciate the current preschool. Parents who recently changed preschools might decide to work for a change from the very beginning because changing preschools all over again might be their last option. Parents who have decided to cope with the situation might change their minds and start working for a change or might change preschools if possible. The results of the interviews show that the situations that parents need to respond to are fluctuating and so are the parents’ approaches.

Stay and appreciate the preschool

In some situations, parents feel very content, and the idea of changing preschools, or even considering another preschool, seems far away. These parents describe the preschool as a warm and safe place for both children and adults. Significant features for a preschool that parents appreciate are continuity, inclusion, equality, knowledge, transparency, and teambuilding. Continuity is highly valued by all parents in this study, and parents who appreciate their current preschool are no exception. When practitioners choose to remain at a workplace, parents tend to interpret it as a sign of enjoyment and work satisfaction. Parents talk in terms as the work team ‘owns the place’ or ‘they are a close-knit team’. The ‘ownership’ of the preschool includes a sense of responsibility that is appreciated by the parents. These particular parents express how they are being included in an entity, or a ‘we’, consisting of both practitioners and families. Continuity promotes the process of deepening the relationship between parents and practitioners, and by that the insecurities that parents might feel regarding preschool and their parental role are reduced. Parents express that they can be authentic in the relationship with the practitioners, meaning that they do not have to hide behind a façade pretending that they are better than they are, for example, that they are more patient or compliant when interacting with the child.

The relationship between parents and practitioners is perceived as equal, reciprocal, and complementary. Teambuilding aspects are brought forward when parents and practitioners share both the concerns and joys of the child’s upbringing and the desire to support the child in everyday life. The child is valued and treated as a subject with their own specific challenges, needs, and interests. The opportunity to get a glimpse of the practitioners’ views is highly valued by parents. The relationship between parents and practitioners has evolved and deepened over time, and parents have come to trust the practitioners’ judgment and knowledge. Practice is characterized by transparency when practitioners not only inform parents about activities, but also share the underlying ideas behind the activities. Parents describe the practitioners as ‘professional’ when they act in accordance with their role. Parents and practitioners seem to share values, norms, and ideas about practice and children’s needs. One parent appreciated that practitioners and parents ‘think the same’ about boundaries and affirmation. Parents might move away from the area but still choose to let the child stay at the current preschool if the distance is far but still manageable.

Parents working for change

There are situations when parents are dissatisfied with some aspect of the preschool, and therefore decide to approach the situation by working for a change. This is particularly the case when a forthcoming transition is far away in time and no other preschool is available. Parents seem to choose not only what problem to address, but also how to address it, depending on how they value the problem and the possible outcome. Matters relating to the child’s individual well-being and need for care and supervision, and matters regarding transparency, are priorities when linked to the child’s and parent’s feeling of security. A lack of information about the child’s doings and about preschool practice is worrisome for parents, and one parent described how a demanding parent is created at preschool when the dialogue between parents and practitioners is poor:

When you feel you don’t get any response, you become a little ‘on’ [as in activated], almost a little demanding and asking questions about everything.

Parents’ concerns about the lack of dialogue and reciprocity become especially visible when the relationship between parents and practitioners is superficial or brief. High staff turnover and a constant flow of substitute teachers are considered to be a major problem for parents, as is a stressful working environment for the practitioners. In some situations, parents join forces with practitioners in order to improve the practitioners’ working conditions and thereby create a secure and enjoyable environment for their children.

When parents identify deficiencies in matters concerning the care and supervision of their child, they primarily turn to the practitioners in order to make a change. If the perceived deficiency is not attended to, parents turn to the preschool head. In some situations, parents are reluctant to raise criticism because they do not trust the practitioners to handle criticism in a professional way. Parents who turn to the preschool head interpret the situation as a failure because they are not able to handle the situation on their own. In some situations, parents sense a conflict of loyalty and interest when turning to the preschool head. This is the case when parents seek to build teams with the practitioners and at the same time improve the conditions for their child.

Further, parents’ demands on preschool and their way of handling perceived deficiencies might change over time as they become more confident, knowledgeable, and experienced as parents. One parent said, ‘I make greater demands on preschool [today] than I dared to when I was younger’, thus leading to a more direct way to handle situations she finds worrisome.

Stay and cope with the situation

Parents might decide to cope with the situation without further attempting to address the practitioners or the preschool head about the perceived problem and without changing preschools. Parents might await a forthcoming transition on the grounds that ‘it’s not worth arguing for three months’, or they might decide to treat the perceived problem as a minor one not needing attention when other, more important, aspects are weighed in such as the child’s overall care and safety. Parents might also find the current preschool quite good compared to what other parents with children at other preschools are experiencing. Perceived weaknesses are then identified and rationalized in different ways.

Parents might also decide to endure a preschool that they find troublesome when weighing long-term benefits to short-term costs depending on what the family’s main concerns are. The lack of communication, dialogue, and reciprocity, which parents seem to handle by coping with the situation, might include deeper differences regarding norms and values related to childrearing and parenting. Parents then perceive themselves as powerless when feeling misunderstood, ignored, or categorized by practitioners in situations where they seek to establish contact and collaboration. They might experience that practitioners are working in the opposite direction or being unsupportive when not understanding the conditions under which the family lives or the choices they feel forced to make. Parents and practitioners might have opposing priorities and views of what the child needs and by whom it needs it. In particular, parents in this situation emphasize communication and dialogue. One parent described how she felt ‘invisible’ and ‘unwelcome’ when entering the preschool, and she said, ‘I can’t stand to go there’, but she still went. She valued preschool highly because it promoted her child’s future by giving her the opportunity to learn the Swedish language and learning codes, the latter of which differ between cultures. Preschool was then perceived as supplemental education by offering her child support in areas where she could not. Another way for parents to cope with a worrisome situation is to keep the child at home for shorter or longer periods waiting for the situation to change.

Changing preschools

There are situations when parents decide to change preschools, provided that there is an available preschool within a reasonable distance. A change of preschools might be necessary when moving away from the area, but parents might also change preschools when not feeling content with the care and supervision their child is receiving. Parents might also change preschools because they do not experience the environment as being as warm and secure as they wish for themselves and their child. The child might be reluctant to attend preschool, and the parents might feel misunderstood, ignored, or offended by the practitioners. The latter is described as very stressful by parents by making them feel unwelcome or judged.

Changing preschools becomes a solution to a problem that parents cannot solve on their own. For example, one parent struggled to understand, and change, a situation where all other children were welcome to eat breakfast in the kitchen except her two-year-old, who had to eat breakfast by herself in the hall. She could see no reason for that to happen when all of the children, including hers, arrived long before breakfast time. She said:

I fought for that breakfast [by talking to the practitioners and the preschool head], but it absolutely didn’t work / … / we solved it by changing preschools.

Parents might have worked for a change for a long time and finally given up the struggle by stating ‘I can’t take this anymore’, or they might give up immediately when seeing that the problem is too big to solve within a reasonable amount of time. None of the parents changed preschools for other reasons than strengthening the care and supervision of their child.

Discussion

The aim of this study was to explore parents’ perspectives on, and experiences of, collaborating with practitioners in their children’s preschool. The core variable in this study is ‘remote parenting’ in which the parents’ main concern is to receive good care and supervision for their children when they are not with them. The term ‘remote parenting’ usually refers to long-term absence, e.g. parents leaving children behind to find work far away from home (e.g. Locke, Thi Ngan Hoa, and Thi Thanh Tam 2012) or the interaction between a child and an absent parent (e. g. Haunstrup Christensen 2009; Yarosh et al. 2013). However, the results of this study challenge the former understanding by adding a different contextual framing, addressing the relationship between primary and secondary caregivers, and by narrowing the aspect of time and distance. The results show how parents in this study act as customers in a market when making choices and evaluating them in order to find caring practitioners that will overtake their parental responsibilities during their child’s stay at preschool. Practitioners might not visualize or discuss caring when documenting or presenting their practice, but parents have found other ways to create an image of how care is manifested at preschool. The aspects of caring that Löfdahl and Péres Prieto (2009) fear have been ignored or taken for granted in preschool are parents’ main concerns. Parent relates to children learning as well, but those aspects become secondary if their need for care and safety is not attended to. The well-being and safety of the child, as Tallberg-Broman (2009) identified, are parents’ first priority.

The results mirror the difficulties preschools struggle with when it comes to recruiting and retaining staff (Swedish National Agency of Education 2015) when parents, being aware of the situation, opt out of preschools that they perceive as less attractive when not being able to recruit and retain practitioners. In that regard, parents’ choices become a reflection of practitioners’ choices. The results show that, in their choices and by working for change, parents make an effort to create favorable conditions for collaboration. The possibility to meet the same practitioners on a regular basis is considered a prerequisite when collaboration is portrayed as an ongoing process between team members. Parents’ experiences of collaboration differ, however, when perceived as effortless, a struggle, or even degrading, and these are reasons to address matters of equivalency and equality when developing home and preschool collaboration. Preschool practitioners share the responsibility of developing good relationships with the families (Swedish National Agency of Education 2016); and one way to demonstrate that responsibility is to care for the children and their families (Swick  2004). The family is the most valuable resource for the child, and there are, as Gillies (2008) states, varied ways to shoulder parental responsibilities.

Conclusions

The purpose of this article was to explore parents’ perspectives on, and experiences of, collaborating with practitioners in their children’s preschool. The results show that parents’ main concern is to practice remote parenting by ensuring that their child is properly cared for and supervised at preschool. Parents strive for continuity when seeking long-term and deepened relations with practitioners at the preschool. They share a wish to team-up with practitioners in order to facilitate the child’s overall well-being and growth.

Implications

The results are useful for stakeholders and policy-makers on different levels by showing how parenting might be embodied in practice and in the early childhood education and care system. There is a need to consider the complexity of parental collaboration at preschool. Parents are not a homogenous group but are individuals striving to attend to their children’s needs of care and supervision in very different ways.

Acknowledgements

This research was encompassed within a doctoral thesis by Mälardalens University. Forthcoming articles will provide a more detailed account of ‘remote parenting’ and the terms ‘indivisualizing’ and ‘individualizing’.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author.

Additional information

Funding

This research was financed by Mälardalens University.