‘Settling In’: Exploring the complexities of observing and responding to young children’s communications of distress as they start day care

ABSTRACT

This paper uses material from two psychoanalytic observations of children in day care to illustrate ways in which young children communicate their feelings on separating from their parents. It discusses how early years practitioners respond to children's distress as they form a Key Person relationship. Points are raised about how difficult it can be for practitioners to respond to children in the early days of them getting used to the new environment, especially in the absence of a robust, reflective work culture. The child's Key Person may avoid understanding children's distress and even misinterpret the child's communication. The paper presents detailed observations of a young girl, who in the absence of an available and receptive adult, finds ways to distance herself from or to cut off from missing her mother and longing to go home. Her defensive, or self protective response, arguably leads to more difficulty for her Key Person, to notice, understand and respond sensitively to her expressions of distress. The paper argues for better, supportive, reflective systems for early years practitioners working in day care, in order to improve the emotional experience for them and for the children.

KEYWORDS:

• Young children separation-anxiety
• early years
• Key Person
• day care
• ‘settling’

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Notes

1 All names and identifying features of the children and nurseries have been changed for reasons of confidentiality.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Debbie Brace

Debbie Brace has a first degree in Drama and she originally trained as a teacher. She is now a specialist trainer in the early language development and behaviour of babies and children age 0–5 years. She has an MA in Infant Mental Health from the Tavistock Clinic validated by the University of East London and won the Louise Emanuel Essay Prize in 2019 for a paper on Infant Mental Health. She is a member of the Executive Committee of AIMH UK and is active in the ‘First 1001 days’ movement which seeks to encourage national and local decision makers to promote babies’ wellbeing and healthy development in the first 1001 days of life. She works to empower parents and caregivers in their crucial role bonding and communicating with their babies and children.