Vospitanie – eto rabota: intercultural encounters in educational communication within Russian-speaking families in Israel

Abstract

The article takes a look at cross-cultural interpersonal communication between children, their parents and grandparents in the families of Russian–Israelis and examines how the Russian-Soviet educational discourse persists in the post-Soviet immigrant family, keeps its meanings or changes itself through migration. Examining the micro-cultural level of everyday conversations between parents and grandparents and their offspring, we suggest that the original Russian-Soviet educational messages, regarding the importance of self-discipline and the acceptance of authority, are inculcated in Israel, by emphasizing concepts and practices of vospitannost’ (manners) and obiazannosti (obligations). Moreover, Russian-speaking Israelis cultivate the style of vospitanie (educating a child), making it an indicator of Russian identity for their Israeli-born children, and use it as a resource for maintaining power in relation to both their Israeli-born children and local Israelis. However, our analysis also revealed that the powerful discourse of vospitanie is challenged in Israel by a new language and a new communication style that is deeply rooted in the Israeli cultural ethos. We show how immigrants' children become the agents of the change, when they introduce a new type of discourse and language to the family's educational communication and resist vospitanie discourse.

Keywords:

• cultural communicative style
• educational communication
• cross-cultural interpersonal interaction
• child raising discourse
• Russian immigrants in Israel

Acknowledgements

Both authors have contributed equally to this article. We are grateful to Michelle Scollo and the anonymous referees of Russian Journal of Communication for their helpful comments and advice.

Notes

^†The education of a child is a serious mission.

Мы стремились успеть вложить в детей как можно больше из того что знаем, что не успели сами (…) даже рискуя потерять с ними контакт. Воспитание это же работа… Здесь же, в Израиле – установка на получение совместного кайфа.

Hereinafter, we use the term vospitanie (educating a child), as a key-concept of the Russian-Soviet educational discourse embracing its main messages. Our respondents used this word, when posing their educational agenda against local Israeli perceptions of raising children. Following them, we use this concept to denote the distinction between the two cultural educational discourses.

Regarding the broad sociological conception of a discourse and of its concrete uses in the paradigm of discourse analysis, we adopt an understanding of discourse that links forms of language with their historically constructed socio-cultural power, and see it as a system of symbols, codes, communicative frames and their meanings (Carbaugh, 2005; Goffman, 1981).

In this article, we focus on the educational communication between adults (parents and grandparents) and their children. For the analysis of the particular communicative patterns used both by the generation of parents, see Zbenovich (2013b) and by the generation of grandmothers, see Zbenovich (2013a).

Dictionaries' definitions of the concept of vospitanie reflect social and cultural implications embodied in this notion and practice of childrearing. Ushakov (1935, p. 371), defines vospitanie as 1. “Systematic effects on child development” (Cистематическое воздействие на развитие ребенка) and 2. “Possession of skills that meet the requirements of the environment” (Обладание навыками, отвечающими требованиям, предъявляемым средой). Ozhegov and Shvedova (1999, p. 98) Dictionary gives the following definition for vospitanie: “The behavior skills imparted by family, school, environment, and manifested themselves in public life” (Навыки поведения, привитые семьей, школой, средой и проявляющиеся в общественной жизни).

Michael: Oops, you dropped the potato!(2) Father: (2a) Mish, a well-mannered person is the one who pretends not to notice that. (2b) When you are chewing, close your mouth and don't talk during mealtime – as it is commonly done … here. (3) Michael: With my mouth closed it doesn't taste good! (4) Father: And don't argue when adults are talking to you!.

The sentence is an abridged remake of the quotation by A. Chekhov's protagonist P. Belokurov ‘Хорошее воспитание не в том, что ты не прольешь соуса на скатерть, а в том, что ты не заметишь, если это сделает кто-нибудь другой’ (A well-mannered person is not the one who poured the sauce on the blanket, but the one who pretends not to notice that). (Chekhov, 1974). In Soviet times, this phrase has acquired the popularity of a proverbial wisdom.

(1) Mother: Eli, sit up straight.(2) Eli: Well, Mum.(3) Mother: And, Eli, you should do intervals when playing the short movements.(4) Eli: Well, Mum, maspik! Irena (the teacher) has already told me this, don't tell me this again and again – I do know it by myself.(5) Mother: But dear, I did not want to insult you; however this is indeed important!(6) Eli: Lo naim li! Ani lo rotze she tagidi li yoter! Ani ken zokher et ze beatzmi!.

(Heb.) Enough!.

(Heb.) This is unpleasant! I don't want that you tell me this anymore! I do remember this by myself!.

(Heb.) matim li/lo matim li: I feel like/I don't feel like, ba li/lo ba li: It suits me/It doesn't suit me, osse li/lo osse li: Turns me on/doesn't turn me on.

Genia: Aviva, I simply do not allow this! I just do not allow running around the apartment and eating. We have a kitchen for eating. Really, there are some things that I do not allow!Aviva: But I really need to!Genia: What you really need is: to do your homework, your exercises in Russian, and everything else you need to do – and to go to Mofet! But watching TV and eating how and when you want to, Aviva – this is not what you really need to do!.

The Russian evening school for kids.

Mika: Mum, I can't swim anymore, I don't want to go swimming, let's go home.Mother: Mika, get back into the pool, and work on it, work! Go ahead, a little bit more.Mika: Mum, I am cold, and I'm tired, let's go.Mother: But you do need to do it … for yourself, just make an effort Mika! It will help fortify your character … that way you can become a true sportsman, when you overcome yourself.Mika: But I want to go home. Ba li ha-baita, dai im ha-briha ha-zot!.

(Heb.) I want to go home, enough with this pool!.

Mother: Dana, take a shower, it's already late!Dana: Mum, bathe me … I can't bathe myself alone.Mother: You are a big girl, I won't bathe you.Dana: I am tired, really … tired, I want to sleep, I cannot bathe myself.Mother: Dana, don't be fussy. At your age I bathed, dried, and went to bed by myself.Dana: And also, Mum, the showerhead should be moved.Mother: You manage very well without me, enough already!Dana: Its very slippery in the bathroom, I almost fell down in there the other day.Mother: You have a thousand reasons, Dana. Ok, start bathing yourself, I will come and help you soon.