Abstract
We conducted intensive interviews with ten gays and ten lesbians drawing on research and theorizing on gay and lesbian identity, symbolic interactionism, and stigma. Key concepts from symbolic interactionism, reflected appraisals and situational identity negotiation, provide a more coherent theoretical way to examine identity development and the situated complexity of identity negotiation and disclosure among gays and lesbians. Romantic relationships are significant because they aid in identity development but also complicate social interactions by confronting many heterosexuals' “phantom acceptance” of gays and lesbians. These findings inform the literature on gay and lesbian identity by critiquing the stage models of identity and connecting this literature back to the symbolic interactionist literature on self and identity.