Breaking the Circuit

Abstract

This article outlines an approach for working with couples that develops Berne’s notion of human hungers—specifically recognition hunger—and how relationships can go awry when the primary need for recognition is not met. It links this need to Erskine and Zalcman’s (1979) racket system and develops Holtby’s (1979) concept of interlocking rackets. Whereas Holtby’s focus seemed primarily behavioral, this article takes into account Erskine’s more recent developments of the script system and presents intrapsychic interventions that alter the interlocking script system on a relational intrapsychic level so that changes occur at both intrapsychic and interpersonal levels. This approach suggests that by focusing on the repressed needs within a couple’s interlocking racket system, destructive patterns of communicating and relating can be short-circuited and replaced with safer, more secure ways of being together. The author outlines the process a therapist can follow to engage the couple using validation and empathy and illustrates this with a case example. This approach integrates new understandings from attachment theory, particularly the possibility of attachment patterns being modified through current relationships, including with the therapist as he or she provides a secure base.

• couples counseling
• human hungers
• racket system
• interlocking rackets
• repressed needs
• empathy
• validation
• secure base
• attachment theory

Notes

Declaration of Conflicting Interests The author declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding The author received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Fran Parkin

Author Biography

Fran Parkin, MCoun, Teaching and Supervising Transactional Analyst (psychotherapy), works as a psychotherapist, supervisor, and trainer in a group practice in Wellington, New Zealand. She specializes in working with couples and sexual issues and has written and taught on these topics over the years. She is a trainer at and codirector of the Wellington Transactional Analysis Training Institute. She can be reached c/o Counselling and Psychotherapy Associates, PO Box 12556, Wellington, New Zealand; email: [email protected].